The Blackbird's Ballad
by aims80
Summary: ** COMPLETED! ** BOOK ONE! Continues after Cary and Melody have read Laura's diary, and follows their marriage plans. But in true VC Andrews style not everything is gauranteed to go smoothly.Will Cary and Melody live happily ever after or not? Please R&R.
1. Prologue

Authors note: Most of the characters in this story are the property of VC Andrews, however the characters not previously mentioned in the novels and the plot are both mine.  
  
  
  
PROLOGUE:  
  
When Cary and I had finished reading the diary of his dead twin sister, and my cousin, Laura we both looked at each other. In his eyes I saw the love for his sister, as well as his pain that Grandmother Olivia could do something like this. We'd been given the diary only a few days before, the same day that Cary had found out that Laura hadn't really drowned with her boyfriend. That in fact she had been taken to a mental clinic by Grandmother Olivia and later died there.  
  
"She's an evil woman!" He declared his voice hoarse. "I wish I hadn't let you talk me into going to her funeral and acting like she would have wanted- sweeping all this" here he gestured extravagantly "under the carpet."  
  
"I wasn't doing it for her!" I protested. "I was doing it for us. Cary we have to live in this town. Could you imagine Aunt Sara and May if they found out what had happened? It would kill Aunt Sara-you know it would. It's best they think that Laura drowned that day, and that they don't know what Grandmother Olivia did."  
  
Cary smirked. "You sound just like her Melody. Maybe you are a Logan after all!"  
  
"I hope to be soon." I said, taking his hand.  
  
His eyes softened. "You still want to marry me? After you've found out all this about my family-"  
  
"-our family Cary!" I corrected him. "As far as I am concerned I'm part of this family, even if Mommy and my real Daddy aren't Logans I am still part of the family. I will still think of Grandfather Samuel as my real Grandfather. And I am planning on moving my real Grandmother to somewhere better, and closer to here. I'll ask Judge Childs to look into it for me as soon as I can. I want to build a proper relationship with him too Cary, since right or wrong, he is my Grandfather."  
  
"You've got a lot of plans." Cary remarked dryly. "Are you sure you can fit a wedding into that?"  
  
I laughed. "I think I can manage that." I assured him. "And when Grandmother Olivia's house is sold then you can start that boat building business you have your heart set on."  
  
He smiled, and leaned over to kiss me. "You know something Melody? I thank god every day you came into my life. And I thank Him that you let me love you."  
  
I smiled, and leant against him. He put his arm around me, and together we watched the sun set over the ocean on the dock where we had gone to read Laura's diary. 


	2. Exciting news

ONE:  
  
I hesitated as we started up the steps to the home Cary, Aunt Sara, May and I shared. When Grandma Olivia died I'd moved back in, and although it was only last week it felt like forever. Part of me wished I could have a normal life, live in a home with a real mother and father, but the other part of me knew that I was lucky to have people who I considered family who cared about me so much. I knew that Aunt Sara cared about me more than my real mother, who was living in LA the last I had heard trying to become an actress. After she faked her death and I had found out, the mother-daughter relationship we should have shared had become as dead to me as her. The fact that she hadn't wanted me had cut me like a knife through my heart. And Grandma Olivia had acted as though it was no great surprise! I'd tried to blame it on Archie Marlin, but Grandma Olivia had waved the excuse away. "It was always that way with Haille. Someone was eternally making excuses for her, finding someone or somewhere else to blame for her selfish, cruel acts!" Even so, deep down in my heart, I still wished for someone to call mother, and talk to about all my fears and secrets! I remembered, with a strange fondness, my time back in Sewell. Whilst we'd lived in a trailer park I had been happy. I had a mother and a father, and we never really wanted for anything. And there had been Papa George and Mama Arlene next door. Then the man I thought was my father had been killed in a mining accident and my life was turned upside down!  
  
"Melody?" Cary asked. "Why are you stopping?"  
  
"I was just thinking." I replied.  
  
"What about?" He asked curious.  
  
"Mommy, Grandma Olivia.." I sighed, and he squeezed my hand.  
  
"Don't think about them Melody. They never made you happy, and I promise you that every day I'll make it my main objective to make you happy!" He promised.  
  
"You already do Cary!" I assured him, and he smiled, and we entered the house. Even after Uncle Jacob's death the house still reminded me of him. He had been a religious man who ruled the house with an iron fist. When Mommy had first brought me to Provincetown after the death of the man I had thought was my father I thought I was finally going to meet my relatives before Mommy and I continued on somewhere else. How wrong I was. Mommy never planned to take me with her where she was going. She had planned to leave me in the home of my Uncle Jacob and Aunt Sara and leave without me. She knew that Uncle Jacob had never forgiven her and his brother, my stepfather, Chester, for accusing his father of being my father and then running off together. She knew that, but she still planned to leave me there! Constantly Uncle Jacob made references to Mommy being a bad person, and how the apple never fell far from the tree. But Aunt Sara was kind, and after the loss of her daughter wanted to take me in. And cruel as Uncle Jacob could sometimes be he would give Aunt Sara whatever she wanted. Of course I was never treated cruelly by my Uncle, which was something! Grandma Olivia was the cruel one of the family, although she hid behind the excuse that everything she did was for the family name! The Logans were one of Provincetown's most prestigious families, and nothing was going to change that for her!  
  
"Ma?" Cary called. "Where are you?"  
  
"I'm in the kitchen dear." She called back, and he glanced at me.  
  
"Ready?" He asked in a low voice.  
  
I nodded.  
  
We went into the kitchen and Aunt Sara turned to smile at us briefly, before turning back to what she was doing. "I'm doing crayfish for tea-just the way you love them Cary."  
  
"That's great Ma." He said. "Listen Ma-we've got something to tell you!"  
  
Aunt Sara stopped what she was doing now, a strange look on her face. "Something to tell me?" She repeated, a little nervously.  
  
"Its not bad Ma.where's May? We want to tell her too." Cary asked.  
  
"Upstairs." Aunt Sara replied, sitting in a kitchen chair. I thought that since Uncle Jacob had died she had become a little more nervous about things.  
  
"I'll just go get her." I said, and I hurried upstairs. May was doing her homework in her room, but she sensed that I was there, and turned round to smile at me. I signed to her that Cary and I had something we wanted to tell her and Aunt Sara down in the kitchen. When I had first arrived in Provincetown I had immediately made the effort to learn sign language in order to communicate with my younger cousin. Cary, who at first resented me being there, was surprised that I wanted to learn it. Later, as he got to know me, he began to like me and then fall in love with me.  
  
We went back downstairs and Aunt Sara signed to May asking her how the homework was going? May signed back that it was good.  
  
"Well then, what's the big news?" Aunt Sara asked us, taking a deep breath.  
  
"Melody and I are getting married." Cary said, signing as he did so in order for May to understand.  
  
May made a noise that I think was a squeal of joy and then raced to hug me, signing her congratulations! Aunt Sara, however, hadn't said anything.  
  
"Ma?" Cary asked.  
  
"Jacob wouldn't have approved." She said, shaking her head.  
  
"But what about you Ma?" Cary persisted. "You want Melody and I to be happy don't you?"  
  
"Of course I do.." Aunt Sara replied. "It's just strange. You know I think of you as my niece Melody, even if it's not biologically true."  
  
"I know Aunt Sara." I replied. "And I appreciate this. Most people in this town know what my mother was like, and they won't be surprised to know that someone else, other than Chester Logan, was my father. Of course there is no way I'm going to own up to who my real father is!" I made a face. My real father was a man named Teddy Jackson, a lawyer who lived in Provincetown. On my trip to LA Mommy had told me about him when I'd demanded to know. The ironic thing was that his son, Adam, had tried to make me his girlfriend when I'd first arrived in the town. He'd actually gotten me drunk in order to have sex with me, but luckily Cary had arrived and saved me. Now, of course, I was glad that I hadn't fallen for Adam!  
  
"He wouldn't admit to it anyway. The Jackson's are all cowards." Cary replied angrily.  
  
"I suppose it would be nice to plan a wedding. Something happy for a change after Jacob and Olivia.." Aunt Sara mused.  
  
Cary grinned at me. "Does that mean we have your blessing Ma?" He asked her.  
  
"Blessing? Yes, congratulations you two!" Aunt Sara said, and she stood up to hug us both.  
  
"I was thinking May would be one of my bridesmaids." I said signing as I spoke. May signed back that she would love to be! "And also my best friend from back in Sewell Alice, and I was thinking Holly Childs." Holly Childs was the wife of Kenneth, the local artist who also happened to be the son of Judge Childs, and therefore my Uncle. For awhile I'd suspected he could have been my father, and when he'd asked me to work for him in the summer I thought it was because he knew he was my father and wanted to tell me. When I finally confronted him about it, he told me he wasn't, and I'd actually had a little fantasy about the two of us for awhile, almost losing Cary in the process. Holly had known him for years, and came to visit from New York occasionally when the stars were right. She was in to astrology and star- signs and meditation and things like that-a good match for an artist like Kenneth! It was only recently that Holly had left New York and come to live in Provincetown and they'd married. Uncle Jacob had declared her a pagan when she'd arrived, but luckily he hadn't had to see her much! She'd done a lot for me in getting me to LA to see whether Gina Simon was really my mother, and I would never forget it!  
  
"Can you imagine Holly in a plain bridesmaids dress? She'd decorate it with stars and moons-like her car!" Cary said, grinning.  
  
Aunt Sara looked dismayed. "But you must have normal dresses..." She said.  
  
"We will Aunt Sara. Cary was just teasing you." I said frowning at him.  
  
"Right Ma." Cary agreed. "So when's this dinner going to be ready? I'm starving."  
  
Aunt Sara went back to her cooking, and Cary, May and I went down to the beach where Uncle Jacob's lobster boat was docked. Previously Uncle Jacob had worked every day, with Cary often by his side, but after Uncle Jacob's death Cary had given the man who worked for Uncle Jacob more responsibility, and a larger share in profits. Whilst he liked the lobstering business he decided his heart lay in boat building, something which his father had gotten all worked up about. He wanted his son to stay in the same business as him! If Uncle Jacob were looking down on us now he'd be going crazy! Not only about our marriage but also about Cary's plans to practically give the business to Roy Patterson as a reward for his loyalty, and for putting up with Uncle Jacob all the time.  
  
"I was thinking-rather than harvest the Cranberry bog ourselves when it needs doing soon-why don't we hire people to do it? Dad would say it was being lazy, but we've got so many other things we need to do, we don't really have the time." Cary suggested.  
  
I shrugged. It didn't really bother me. Once Grandma Olivia's house was sold the money was going into Cary's boat building business. Grandma Olivia had, strangely enough, left her entire fortune, and it was a sizeable one too, to me. I had more money than I knew what to do with now!  
  
May signed that she thought we should go back inside and help Aunt Sara with dinner now, so we returned to the house. Dinner was almost ready, and May and I set the table. When it was served Cary picked up the bible. Every night before tea Uncle Jacob had insisted on reading a passage from the bible. Sometimes he had got Cary to read, occasionally even me. Cary looked at the bible for a moment, whilst we waited expectantly. Then he put it down.  
  
"I want to thank god for our food, our family, and our love." He said simply.  
  
Aunt Sara blinked, and then realised that was Cary's prayer, and mumbled something like very nice dear. And then we all began to eat.  
  
Before bed that night Cary lingered outside the door of my room, the room that had previously belonged to his sister. "If we're engaged can't I sleep in here?" He asked.  
  
I shook my head. "Aunt Sara wouldn't like it Cary." I told him.  
  
"I could sneak back to my own room before the morning and she wouldn't know." Cary protested, but I shook my head again.  
  
"Now that we're engaged I want to do things properly." I told him.  
  
He frowned. "What do you mean properly?"  
  
"I mean you sleep in your room, I sleep in mine." I said. It wasn't anything to do with shyness-Cary had been the first I'd given myself to, and we'd been together a few times since then-it was more to do with what I imagined I should do. Grandma Olivia would approve of that, if nothing, I thought wryly. Not that her approval was my driving force. I simply wanted to do things the right way!  
  
"Goodnight Cary." I said, kissing him goodnight, and then closing the bedroom door ignoring his frown.  
  
As I fell asleep I thought about Laura again. I'd never met her, but through my family, and friends I thought I knew her. When I first arrived Mommy hadn't let me take much with me, and so I had been forced to wear Laura's clothes. I felt uncomfortable about it at first. Not just wearing her clothes, but using her things, and sleeping in her room. Then I got used to it. And of course along the way I'd gotten my own things! I imagined Laura nodding with approval about Cary and mine's upcoming marriage. And I fell asleep with that image in my mind. 


	3. Spreading the joy

TWO:  
  
I was up early the next morning, full of energy. Aunt Sara was already in the kitchen and she smiled at me.  
  
"Good morning dear, how did you sleep?" She asked.  
  
"Like a log." I replied, getting myself a glass of orange juice. "Aunt Sara- you are happy about Cary and I getting married, aren't you?" The thought had been in the back of my mind the night before, and now that we were alone I thought it was the perfect opportunity to make sure!  
  
"Of course I am dear. You and Cary seem very much in love, and I am sure you'll be very happy together." She replied, giving me another smile, but then going back to her cooking. I had the impression that her sentiments weren't entirely heartfelt, but decided that it would have to do!  
  
Cary came down then. Even though he wasn't out on the boat all the time now he was still used to being up fairly early, and old habits die hard.  
  
"Morning Ma, morning Melody." He said kissing us both.  
  
"Cary, what are your plans for this morning?" I asked.  
  
He raised an eyebrow. "Why? What do you need?"  
  
I had to laugh. "I need you to take me over to Kenneth and Holly's-I want to tell them about the wedding, and ask Holly to be a bridesmaid." I replied.  
  
"Sure, there is nothing I would rather do than drive around my gorgeous fiancée." Cary replied, his eyes twinkling. "Although with all the money Grandma Logan left you I think you could easily afford a chauffeur."  
  
I made a face. "I don't think so. That was more Grandma Olivia's style than mine. Although I wouldn't mind learning to drive." I replied.  
  
"I'll give you lessons sometime soon." Cary promised, and then he turned back to his mother. "Hasn't May come down yet? She's usually up earlier than this on a weekend."  
  
"No, she hasn't." Aunt Sara replied, glancing at the clock and frowning.  
  
"I'll go hurry her up-Cary, set the table for your mother." I said, leaving the room.  
  
"Isn't setting the table woman's work?" Cary grumbled, but I heard him.  
  
"Not today it isn't Cary Logan!" I called, as I started up the stairs. I heard him rummaging round in the cutlery drawer and guessed the table would be set-of sorts.  
  
May was sitting by her mirror brushing her hair, and smiling happily into it. She must have either caught a sight of my reflection, or sensed me, but she turned around quickly, putting the brush down and looking guilty.  
  
"Why are you acting guilty? I didn't catch you writing love letters to that boy you're in love with did I?" I signed to her with a grin.  
  
She shook her head, and then signed back. "I was just looking at myself in the mirror, and for a moment I forgot Dad was dead and thought you were him coming in to tell me that vanity is a sin."  
  
"Excessive vanity is a sin." I signed to her. "But looking at yourself in the mirror is not a sin-its natural. Every woman does it." Thinking about excessive vanity made me think about my mother. I wondered whether she was still in LA trying to become a famous actress. I recalled how she had asked me to pretend I was her younger sister since she was lying about her age to everyone and couldn't have a daughter my age. I kept slipping up when we were in the apartment, causing Archie to yell at me all the time. I think that perhaps he convinced my mother that I wanted her to fail.  
  
"What's making you look so sad?" May signed, puzzled.  
  
"I was thinking about my mother." I signed in reply.  
  
She looked sympathetic. "Are you going to invite her to the wedding?" She signed.  
  
"I hadn't thought about it." I signed in response. That was true-I hadn't thought about it. On one hand I didn't think she really deserved to be invited. Believing Archie over me and not caring when I left had pretty much signaled that she was no real part of my life anymore. However, I still thought perhaps, that I should invite her.  
  
Cary came in then. "Ma sent me upstairs to see what was taking you both so long when breakfast is ready. I told her that once girls start gossiping they don't stop." He said, and signed at the same time.  
  
May and I looked at each other and smiled.  
  
Cary frowned suspiciously. "What were you two talking about?" He asked.  
  
"Nothing-girls gossip only, sorry Cary." I replied, and May laughed. We went downstairs for breakfast.  
  
*****  
  
"I don't know why he doesn't fix this road-its not like he can't afford it." Cary grumbled, as he navigated the sandy road which lead down to Kenneth's place.  
  
"Maybe he likes the fact that not many people would chose to brave coming down here." I suggested. Kenneth had always been a fairly solitary person, although perhaps now Holly and he were married things might be a bit more different. I couldn't imagine her not wanting to socialise sometimes!  
  
"You mean the judge?" Cary asked.  
  
"I guess." I replied. The judge and Kenneth hadn't gotten along in years. Not since the judge had told my mother that he was her father and therefore Kenneth was her half-brother. At the time she and Kenneth had been in love, and it had crushed both of them. Kenneth stopped really speaking to the judge then, however recently they had begun to speak a little, which was something. Again, I was sure Holly would convince Kenneth to forgive him. For my own part, I thought the judge was a nice enough man who had made his mistakes in the past, but was more than willing to try to make up for them! He had been the one to explain the terms of Grandma Olivia's will to me, to explain how wealthy I now was!  
  
We pulled up in front of Kenneth's house, and Holly was out the front washing her car, as well as Kenneth's jeep. I waved to her, and hurried over to her.  
  
"Where's Kenneth?" I asked.  
  
"Where else but his studio." Holly replied, grinning.  
  
"Well he has to come out. We've got something to tell you." I replied.  
  
Holly's eyes brightened. "We?" She asked. "Let me just go get him."  
  
A moment later they both came back out.  
  
"Hello Cary, hello Melody." Kenneth greeted us. "Holly seems to think there is some big news for us."  
  
Cary looked to me. On the drive over he had decided that since Kenneth was my uncle it was up to me to tell him. So I just blurted it out "Cary and I are getting married."  
  
Holly squealed, and hurried to hug me, whilst Kenneth shook Cary's hand.  
  
"I can't think of a couple who would be better together than you two!" Kenneth said. "Other than us of course." He added, shooting a look over at Holly.  
  
"And Holly I was wondering whether you'd be one of my bridesmaids?" I asked.  
  
Holly's eyes widened. "Me?" She managed. "You want me to be a bridesmaid?"  
  
"Sure. Especially after all the help you've given me in the past-like taking me to New York, and organising for me to stay with your sister in LA." I said. I'd stayed with Holly's sister Dorothy Livingstone and her husband whilst I was searching for my mother in LA. Dorothy whilst sometimes a little annoying, was a great host. She took me to a very expensive restaurant on my first day there, and explained how everyone wanted to be seen in LA. After all, the vast majority of people there were trying to be "discovered" and become actors. Her husband had been a little less accommodating, but not bad.  
  
"You know she asked me about you the other day. She wanted to know whether it all worked out for you with you mother. I told her it did and you were back in Provincetown where you belonged. I think she thought I was a little crazy there." Holly said, with a smile. Her sister and her were as different as chalk and cheese, and while they didn't get on the best I knew that deep down they both loved each other dearly.  
  
*****  
  
On the way back home Cary remarked that they hadn't seemed all that surprised at the news. "Maybe Holly read it in her crystal ball or saw it in the cards?" He teased.  
  
"Don't make fun Cary Logan." I replied. "Anyway it was no big secret that we were in love was it. At least not from either of them."  
  
"I wonder what everyone else is going to say.." Cary mused.  
  
"Everyone who?" I asked.  
  
"The town. You know this means that Grandma Olivia's family reputation will be sullied a little. I mean once they find out that Chester wasn't really your father, so we're not really cousins?" Cary said.  
  
"Do you care?" I asked.  
  
"No!" Cary replied quickly. "Especially after what that witch did to Laura."  
  
I was silent for a moment before speaking. "Cary, you have to let go of your hate. Sometimes hate just eats us up inside." I told him.  
  
"I can't forgive that. Letting me think Laura was dead, when she was there wanting us, wanting to be back with us!" Cary snapped. "You read about it in the diary-where she remembered us. It broke my heart."  
  
"I know." I said softly. "But I am not saying this for Grandma Olivia Cary! I am saying it for you. I don't want you to be unhappy about this forever. I don't want it to keep on getting at you."  
  
Cary sighed. "Can we not talk about this Melody?"  
  
When we arrived back home Aunt Sara came to speak to me. "You had a phone call dear."  
  
"I did?" I asked, curiously. My first thought was that it was Alice, which was good timing really since I was going to call her that afternoon.  
  
"Yes, someone called Gina?" Aunt Sara replied. "I don't remember a Gina-did she go to your school?"  
  
Cary and I exchanged looks. Aunt Sara had known about my mother changing her name from Haillie Logan to Gina Simon when she faked her death, but for some reason she didn't seem to remember it.  
  
"Yes, Aunt Sara." I lied. "Did she leave a number?"  
  
"Yes, you can call her back." Aunt Sara replied. "Cary, do you think you could run down to the bog and pick me a few cranberries? I want them for lunch."  
  
"Sure Ma." Cary said, and he headed back outside while I headed for the phone. 


	4. Phone calls

THREE:  
  
"Hello, Gina Simon speaking." Said my mother. Hearing my mother's voice, and hearing her call herself that name, made my throat tighten, and when I opened my mouth no words came out.  
  
"Hello?" The impatient tone I was so used to. Especially after my stepfather died! Like when she thought we should get on with our life and be happy, and I thought that we should be in mourning. One time I'd returned home from school and she complained about my moods, claiming "if you walk around with a sad-sack face all the time do it. You wont have any friends, and you certainly wont attract and handsome boys." I had been in shock that she would think I would actually care about that when I had just lost the man I thought at the time to be my boyfriend.  
  
"HELLO?" This time it was a yell, and I opened my mouth to speak but she continued "It's you isn't it? Damn Richard, I told you to stay the hell out of my life and I meant it. I've wised up to your lies. You said you'd make me a star, and you didn't. All you wanted was me to wait on you. I'm an actress not a housewife! I'm not going back to that ever! EVER Richard!"  
  
"Mommy," I managed to say. "It's me. Melody."  
  
"Melody. Well why didn't you speak up and say so?" My mother demanded. "Did you get my message?"  
  
"Yes Mommy. I have some news for you anyway, so I was going to call-" I began, but she interrupted.  
  
"I've got news too Melody. I've finally gotten the break I was looking for." My mother's voice rose in excitement. "I'm in two flashback memories- I'll be on screen for almost ten minutes! I play the woman who Mel Gibson had an affair with when he was younger!"  
  
"That's great Mommy." I said flatly.  
  
She either didn't hear, or didn't notice, my insincerity. "I know! Even though I am only on screen with Mel for a few minutes my agent is convinced that this will make Hollywood sit up and take notice of me! Gina Simon is going to be famous!"  
  
"I hope so Mommy." I said, sighing inwardly. Even though I hadn't ever expected my mother to change I still had hoped that she might be a little less selfish, and ask how I was before spouting off about how she was going to be famous!  
  
"Like I told you awhile back I've sacked Richard. I didn't think he was honestly trying hard enough for me." My mother continued. I thought about her words only a few moments before when she had thought I was Archie Marlin: 'I'm an actress not a housewife! I'm not going back to that ever!' Those words hurt. They told me that my mother would rather die then go back to the life we had once had.  
  
"That's good Mommy. I never liked him." I said. Especially after he had the gall to accuse me of trying to seduce him when he had actually tried to rape me. And then my mother had actually believed him. That had hurt more than anything-she should have been on the side of her daughter!  
  
"I know Melody. It's a shame I didn't listen to you." My mother sighed. "Anyway, my new agent is very professional. We're not involved in any relationship other than our business one. I've had a few boyfriends since Richard of course, but there is nobody I want to think about being with seriously. But my agent tells me that being single is better for my image, and my work. I don't need anyone to hold me back."  
  
My eyes welled up with tears. Had I ever held her back? Did she actually think I had?  
  
"So, how are you anyway? How's Sara coping with Jacob's loss?" My mother asked, reminding me that she knew about Jacob's death as Cary had called me whilst I was in LA with the news.  
  
"As well as can be expected." I replied. "Grandma Olivia died as well Mommy."  
  
"Oh. I didn't know. How did she die?" My mother asked.  
  
  
  
"She had a stroke and was sick. I think she wanted to die though. There was no way she would have coped being put in the home." I replied. I had tried to contact my mother to let her know, but wasn't able to get hold of her, so I didn't really bother trying further.  
  
My mother was silent a moment, making me think that the news had actually affected her. Then she added "Not that it really matters to me. She was never much of a mother to me. She was one cold-hearted woman."  
  
"She did what she thought she had to do." I replied, a little surprised at myself. I would never have imagined I would defend my Grandma to my mother! At the time of Grandma Olivia's death I had considered letting my mother know, but I never did.  
  
"You didn't have to grow up with her pointing out your every little flaw!" My mother snapped. "Anyway, I don't want to talk about that. I am sorry she is dead, but personally it doesn't affect me."  
  
"I have some news for you Mommy." I said.  
  
"What is it Melody? And make it quick can you? I've got to get to the beauty salon to get my hair done!" My mother said.  
  
"I'm getting married to Cary." I said. The conversation with my mother had taken the wind from my sails a bit, and I didn't really sound like an excited bride to be!  
  
"Married? Oh Melody, don't make the same mistake as I did." My mother said, pouring rain on my dreams as usual. "You're cut out for more than being the wife of a smelly old fisherman-"  
  
"-for your information Mommy Cary is not just a fisherman. With Grandma Olivia's death I inherited everything. It's all being held in trust for me so that when I turn 25 I get it all. In the meantime we've put the estate up for sale and the proceeds are going towards Cary starting a boat- building business. He's already built one for Kenneth, and had talks with some of the more wealthy townspeople about building for them too." I said coldly.  
  
"Olivia left it all to you?" My mother seemed shocked.  
  
"Yes Mommy." I said.  
  
"Hmm..well..I'd better get going. I'll expect an invite to the wedding in the mail, although I might be making movies so who knows whether or not I'll attend? I can't believe she left it all to you.." My mother said.  
  
When I hung up I leant against the wall shaking a little. The only thing my mother had cared about in the entire conversation was the fact that I was now rich! She didn't care that I was getting married, and thought I was making a mistake! Unlike her I had no problem being a housewife if it meant I would make my husband happy! Like I'd always thought she and my stepfather had been! And all my mother could talk about was herself. Well I was glad she didn't know whether she would be able to come to the wedding, because I didn't want her there!  
  
Cary came in then, and he looked at my face. "You rang your mother." He stated simply.  
  
I nodded.  
  
"And?" He asked.  
  
"Once she finally stopped talking about herself long enough for me to tell her the news she actually told me not to get married. She said it would be a mistake." I replied.  
  
Cary frowned.  
  
"Of course I told her that it wasn't! And the only thing she actually cared about was the fact that I was now rich. She then told me to send her an invite to the wedding, but said she didn't know whether or not she would be able to make it!" I finished off.  
  
Cary came over to hug me, while I leant against him, blinking back my tears. Even though I knew what my mother was like, and how selfish she was, it still hurt.  
  
"I better get these to Ma." Cary finally said, drawing away from me. "But Melody, don't think about her. She isn't a proper mother! We don't need her to be happy!"  
  
"I know." I said, with a sigh. "I better give Alice a call now while I've got the time. I bet she jumps at the chance to be a bridesmaid."  
  
I was right there! When I told her I was getting married and wanted her to be a bridesmaid she squealed with joy. "I can't believe it! This is so exciting Melody!" She cried.  
  
I laughed. "I know."  
  
"Is it going to be a big wedding? I mean, you don't have to worry about money or anything." She asked.  
  
I'd written to her about Grandma Olivia telling me that she would be leaving everything to me.  
  
"I don't think so." I replied. "I know money's not an issue. But I'd rather just have the people I want to be there, the people who are closest to me, instead of the whole town including people I've never even spoken to!"  
  
"Yeah, good idea." She said. "But are you still going to college? I'm waiting for my acceptance letters, but I'm praying I get into an Ivy League college!"  
  
"I don't know that I will." I said. "I'll be married. I can't really just go off to college and leave my husband behind can I? Besides with all that happened I didn't even get the chance to apply!"  
  
"But you have to go to college." Alice said. "You can go next year instead- many people do that! You can get a scholarship with the fiddle and-"  
  
"-Alice!" I interrupted her. "I haven't thought that far ahead now. I'm thinking more about the wedding..."  
  
"Right, sorry for being pushy." Alice said. "You know what I'm like when it comes to education!"  
  
I laughed. "Yeah I do, and it's alright."  
  
"So when is the wedding going to be?" Alice asked.  
  
"We're thinking November so we've got two months or so to organise it all." I replied.  
  
"Well if there's anything I can do-I mean apart from being your bridesmaid- let me know!" Alice said.  
  
"Of course." I agreed.  
  
"I've got to go before Mom cracks it with me." Alice said. "But I'll speak to you soon, and of course see you at the wedding."  
  
"Sure, and you'll have to come up a few days before so we can spend some time together. And if there is anyone special you want to invite let me know!" I said.  
  
"Special?" Alice asked. "No, there isn't. You're talking about a boyfriend or something aren't you?"  
  
"Yes." I admitted.  
  
"Well there isn't. The boys here are so fake-they only think about looks!" Alice complained.  
  
I sighed. "Well there will be someone out there for you. You've just got to find them." I said. "It's fate."  
  
"Fate?" Alice echoed. "I don't know about that. Fate is a notion-"  
  
I heard her Mom in the background, and then Alice said "I've got to go right this second Melody. I'll speak to you soon."  
  
"Alright, bye Alice."  
  
"Bye, and congratulations again!" Alice said before she hung up.  
  
'Well,' I thought with a wry grin. 'At least someone's happy for me, even if my own mother isn't.' And then I shook my head to clear the thoughts. I was getting married and nothing was going to darken my days, and take away from my happiness. 


	5. Family ties

FOUR:  
  
"Melody can't you stand still just for a moment?" Aunt Sara asked impatiently. She was measuring me for my dress, but I was waiting for Cary to come home so that he could give me my first driving lesson. I'd decided to drive over to the Judge's house, so I could speak to him about how to go about getting the house sold as soon as possible, and starting Cary's business. I also knew that with the marriage coming up we would have to look for a home of our own. As much as I loved Aunt Sara and May I knew we couldn't stay there forever-especially after the wedding!  
  
"Sorry Aunt Sara." I apologized. "It's just with the wedding in a few months and all we don't have much time to do all the things we need to do. I can hardly believe it's already September!"  
  
"I know the feeling. When I married Jacob I was so worried about all the little things. Of course Olivia took care of it all-even the little details." She smiled fondly.  
  
"You mean Grandma Olivia organised your wedding?" I asked shocked. Wasn't it every girl's dream to get married? And to let someone take over the wedding and run it as if it were their own? Of course I remembered Aunt Sara telling me about how it had been decided that she and Jacob would make a good couple, and then the subsequent romance (if you could call it that) awhile back, and I did realise that there was a great difference between us. After all Cary and I had fallen in love on our own, and Cary had asked me to marry him because he loved me, not because his parents thought it would be a good idea!  
  
"Of course dear, but she was so much better at those sort of things than me." Aunt Sara said. I made a face. I knew what Grandma Olivia's personal opinion of Aunt Sara had been, even if Aunt Sara didn't. But that, I decided pretty quickly, was one thing Grandma Olivia had been wrong about- Aunt Sara was a lovely woman, who had shown me only kindness and love!  
  
"So tell me; what did your mother have to say the other day?" Aunt Sara asked, surprising me. The other day she'd thought Gina Simon was a school friend, and now she remembered that she was my mother, and that I'd spoken to her. It made me nervous, and I swallowed before speaking.  
  
"She rang to tell me that she thinks she might finally have made it in Hollywood." I replied. "She's in a movie with Mel Gibson, and her agents got her convinced that she is going to hit the big time now. For Mommy's sake I hope he's right."  
  
"You don't sound too excited dear." Aunt Sara said perceptively.  
  
"Well it's just when I told her I was getting married to Cary she told me I was making a mistake. She seems to think women shouldn't be tied down by husbands, children and marriage." I said.  
  
"Haille wasn't always like other women." Aunt Sara said tactfully.  
  
"No?" I asked.  
  
"She never wanted to get married and settle down, that's why we were so shocked when she and Chester ran off together. I always felt sorry for him because I was sure that Haille would make his life miserable." Aunt Sara said.  
  
"He wasn't miserable." I said. I remembered the way he spoke of my mother even when she had done something to hurt me or him: "Your mother's the prettiest woman in this town-for miles and miles around it too."  
  
Aunt Sara didn't reply, instead she concentrated on making sure the measurements were right.  
  
*****  
  
After lunch Cary and I got in the truck for my first driving lesson.  
  
"Now, " He told me. "Let the clutch out slowly. Ease it out gently."  
  
I let the clutch out, and we jumped a yard or two before we stalled. I moaned, and Cary laughed.  
  
"See what I mean-you've got to do it slowly, or we'll bunny hop all the way down the road." He told me.  
  
I frowned, and put the car back into neutral and started it again. This time I changed the gears all right, although not entirely smoothly. Once I was going along though I was fine, and I couldn't keep the grin of my face.  
  
  
  
"See, you'll be getting your permit in no time soon." Cary promised me. "With a little more practice!" He added this as I stalled the truck at a set of traffic lights.  
  
We finally reached the judge's place-Cary hadn't let me go very fast-and went inside. His butler, Morton, opened the door for us, and then led us to the sitting room where the judge was.  
  
"Miss Melody, and Mr. Cary." He announced us to the judge, who had been napping with a newspaper spread out on his lap. The judge jumped up to greet us. "How are you?" He asked. "How's Sara?"  
  
"She's fine." I said. "She's getting over Jacob's death, but I think she still cries about it sometimes when she thinks we're not there."  
  
"Yes, well she was very devoted to him." The judge said. "Do you two want something to drink or something to eat?"  
  
"No thanks, we've just had lunch." I said.  
  
"Well sit down, make yourselves comfortable." The judge said.  
  
Cary and I sat down side by side on the couch, and the judge sat back in the chair he had been sitting in. As he sat down I felt myself studying him furtively. I still wasn't entirely used to the idea that he was my Grandfather. But he'd treated me well after Grandma Olivia died, he'd been perfectly happy to explain the will and everything to me. And I also knew that Kenneth and he had spoken on the phone at least once in the last week or so. Maybe they were going to finally rebuild some of those bridges?  
  
"Well what can I do for you two? I heard about you getting engaged the other day. Holly told me all about it." The judge said. "If there's anything I can do to help let me know."  
  
"Actually, I was wondering whether or not you would give me away. My stepfather is dead, my real father is someone I don't want to be associated with, and even if I didn't know it until recently you are my grandfather." I asked.  
  
Cary's eyes widened in shock-he hadn't known I was going to ask the judge to give me away. In fact I hadn't known it either until then, but by the way Cary squeezed my hand I knew he approved.  
  
The judge's eyes teared up. "Melody, I would be proud to give you away. So far you're the only grandchild I have, and it would be an honor!"  
  
I smiled. "Thank you." I said. "Actually that's not the only thing we came to see you about. We want to sell Grandma Olivia's house as soon as possible so that Cary can start his business. Of course I have no idea how to go about it all, so I thought I would get your advice."  
  
The judge nodded thoughtfully. "I know a few people who might be interested in buying the place. Are you sure though, that you don't want to keep it? It's a marvelous home and I am sure that you don't want to live with Sara and May when you're just married."  
  
"We will want somewhere to live, but we wont need somewhere that big for just the two of us." I admitted.  
  
"You know, of course, that you wont get the money until you're twenty-five. You've still got another seven years to go until then." The judge reminded me. "You might need the estate for purely monetary reasons."  
  
"I'm sure Cary's business will be enough of a success to support the two of us." I said loyally, and the judge grinned.  
  
"Yes, I saw the boat you made for Kenneth and I have to admit I thought it was the work of a professional. Maybe sometime you might consider making one for me?" The judge asked.  
  
Cary swelled with pride. "I would be proud to sir." He said.  
  
"In the meantime I suppose the profits of the house will be enough to allow you to buy a small place of your own and start the business." The judge said thoughtfully. "I just wish that there was some way you'd be able to get the money sooner."  
  
"That's alright sir, we don't need it all." Cary said.  
  
The judge smiled. "I'm sure you don't." He said. "I was considering giving you something for your eighteenth birthday the other week Melody. I was considering helping you towards your college money, but considering college should already have began I am assuming you're not going."  
  
I went red. I wondered whether everyone thought it was a big mistake for me to get married and not go to college?  
  
"So maybe I should make it a eighteenth birthday present and a wedding present combined." The judge mused. "Wait here a moment can you?" And he left the room.  
  
"Cary, do you realise my own mother didn't even remember my eighteenth birthday?" I asked, suddenly realising it myself. At the time things had been happening to occupy my mind, but now that I thought of it, it hurt!  
  
Cary frowned. "Well the people that matter didn't forget it, did they?" He asked.  
  
I smiled and leant against him. "No, they didn't."  
  
"We really will be alright for money Melody." Cary assured me. "And then when you're twenty-five we can retire and live in luxury."  
  
I laughed. "You know perfectly well Cary Logan that you'll be working until you're old and wrinkled and loving it."  
  
He laughed too. "What can I say? I'm obsessed. I hope that Dad's looking down on me and he's not too annoyed that I'm practically letting Roy run the lobster business, and that I don't want to do the cranberry harvest myself."  
  
"I'm sure once he sees what a success the business is going to be any anger or doubts he has will go." I assured him. In my own mind I wondered whether that was true? More than likely Uncle Jacob was currently looking down in fury at not only his son's plans for building boats for a living, but also the fact that we were getting married.  
  
The judge came back then. He held out a checque to me, and I looked at the amount and gasped.  
  
"You can't give us this much money Judge Childs." I said, trying to hand it back to him, but he waved it away.  
  
"I don't have much to spend my money on, and I'm an old man Melody. Let me do this thing for you. I know you don't know me very well, but I hope that before I die you'll come to think of me as your Grandfather." The judge said.  
  
"I do think of you as my grandfather!" I assured him. I didn't like to think of him being old and dying soon-after all he was the same age as Grandma Olivia and Grandpa Samuel, and they hadn't seemed old at all. At least Grandma Olivia hadn't up until the stroke!  
  
"Maybe you could call me Grandfather? Or Pop even?" The judge asked.  
  
"Sure, Grandfather." I said, and his eyes lit up.  
  
"Melody, Cary, I know you two are going to be very happy together. And I wish you both all the best!" The judge, sorry my grandfather said. I squeezed Cary's hand in silent agreement. I had no doubts about that! Life was going to be better than ever! 


	6. The engagement party

FIVE:  
  
"Are you two ready yet?" Cary asked impatiently. I was braiding May's hair, and I was all ready to go myself. He had appeared in the doorway of her room, where he lounged against the doorframe. We were about ready to go to Kenneth and Holly's place on the beach where they were throwing us an engagement party. I hadn't been planning on having one, but Holly wanted to organise one for us since she and Kenneth hadn't had one for their wedding the other month!  
  
"Almost." I replied.  
  
"How come women always take twice as long as men to get ready? And then, when there's somewhere important to go, they take three times as long?" Cary grumbled, sounding exactly like his father!  
  
"It's called pride Cary Logan, and you could do with some of it. Straighten your tie!" I told him.  
  
He glanced down at his crooked tie with a shrug, and he fixed it. "That better m'lady?" He asked me.  
  
I smiled. "Yes. You look fine now." I said.  
  
"Just fine? And when you look so beautifully ravishingly stunn-" He began, but I interrupted him with a laugh.  
  
"Okay, I get the point!" I said.  
  
He smiled too. "But seriously Melody, you do look beautiful. I sometimes can't believe my luck that you agreed to marry me!"  
  
"I feel pretty lucky too!" I assured him, and over the top of May's head we exchanged a brief loving look. Then his face turned sober.  
  
"Ma's downstairs waiting. I don't suppose either of you have noticed anything strange about her, have you?" Cary asked, signing so that May and I could both understand.  
  
"Strange how?" I asked, thinking about her sudden memory the week before about my Mother's phone call.  
  
"Well she called me Jacob the other night, and Samuel tonight." Cary admitted, clearly not wanting to admit that there could be something wrong with his beloved mother.  
  
May signed to us so fast that I had trouble understanding. Cary, however, was an expert and had no such problems. "The other day she called me Laura! And then I saw her sitting on your bed Melody and she was crying, but it looked like she was speaking to someone and nobody was there!"  
  
Cary and I exchanged worried glances. "We'll have to keep an eye on her." Cary said. "She's just grieving over Dad of course, but we don't want it to go too far!"  
  
*****  
  
"Wow!" Cary said, whistling as we arrived at Kenneth and Holly's place. "This must have cost a fortune. I thought you said it was only a relatively small thing?"  
  
My breath was taken away, so I couldn't reply for a moment. Holly must have spent hours decorating the place, so that streamers and balloons hung everywhere. There was an area set up with food, and there was also a dance floor set up near where the band would play. "That's what Holly told me!" I replied, as we got out of the car. There were a few other cars around, and a few people milled about. I thought I noticed the Judge's car there also.  
  
Barking madly, Prometheus and Neptune, Kenneth and Holly's two dogs were running around like crazy. I saw Holly emerge from the house and she scooped Neptune up into her arms. "You two might have to be kept somewhere out of the way so you don't get underfoot!" She told him. He licked her face in response. Then she saw us and waved "Hi!" She called.  
  
"Holly I thought you said it wasn't going to be a big deal." I said, as we reached her.  
  
She laughed as she hugged me. "It wasn't going to be, but then I started thinking about the engagement party I'd want if I was your age, and I decided since you don't get married every day, why not make it a big one?" She explained.  
  
"I like the color scheme you used. Laura always loved blue." Aunt Sara told Holly.  
  
Holly looked puzzled for a moment, and then smiled "Thanks." She said. Then she linked my arm through one of hers, and Cary's through the other. "Well, come and greet your guests!"  
  
"My guests?" I repeated, still a little overwhelmed by the whole thing. I saw May bend down to pat the dogs, and Aunt Sara wander off in the direction of the house.  
  
"Sure, they're here to congratulate you and Cary aren't they?" Holly asked.  
  
"Or they're here for the free food and music." Cary offered, and Holly shot him a dirty look.  
  
"Ignore him." I said airily. "He just likes to try and annoy you."  
  
Holly pulled Cary and I over to an elderly couple. "Cary you know Mr. and Mrs. James right?" She asked.  
  
Cary nodded. "I met you at my Grandmothers on a few occasions. You and Grandpa Samuel used to fish together." He said to Mr. James. "And you and Grandma Olivia used to.." He trailed off.  
  
"Gossip together." Mrs. James admitted with a laugh. And then she turned to me. "I'm very pleased for you dear. Olivia talked about you often, and she was always very proud of you! It's a pity she couldn't be here tonight."  
  
'I don't know about that!' I thought. 'If Grandma Olivia was still alive she'd be determined to stop the wedding between Cary and I!'  
  
"She's very beautiful, you're very lucky." Mr. James told Cary, who grinned in agreement.  
  
I turned around to see Theresa Patterson smiling at me. She was the daughter of Roy Patterson, whom Cary had given most of the control for the lobster business too, and perhaps my closest friend at school.  
  
"This is an amazing party." She told me, when I reached her.  
  
"I know, Holly's a champion!" I said.  
  
"I didn't expect you to end up marrying Cary you know. I thought you would go off to college and end up far away from here!" Theresa told me.  
  
"I always planned on college. It was part of the deal Grandma Olivia and I made before she died. But you know what they say about the best laid plans." I grinned ruefully, and Theresa laughed.  
  
"Don't I ever!" she said. "Dad was telling me that you're going to get everything Olivia had!"  
  
"He's right. We've got the house up for sale, and we've already had a bit of interest in it, since it really is such a nice estate. And then the money is going into Cary's boat making business. And until I'm twenty-five the money is held in trust for me." I explained, and her eyes widened.  
  
"So when you're twenty-five you're going to be as rich as Olivia and Samuel were!" She said impressed.  
  
"Money isn't everything Theresa." I told her, and she sighed.  
  
"Have you ever noticed that it's only the very rich who say that?" She asked me, a little bitterly. Theresa's family were what was known in the Cape as "bravas"- half black, half Portuguese- and she lived with her father and her two sisters and brother in a fairly small house.  
  
"Until I get the money left for me I'm going to be living on the proceeds of Cary's business only Theresa." I told her. "And I can tell you this now: I don't care. As long as I have Cary I don't need money. I'd be poor as long as I was with the one I loved!"  
  
She looked impressed, and then she smiled and hugged me. "Well congratulations. I hope you and Grandpa are very happy!" Unlike the other girls in the school Theresa used Cary's nickname in a friendly manner.  
  
*****  
  
Much later that night Cary and I were dancing together, aware that the eyes of the entire party were on us.  
  
"I hate dancing. I swear I've got two left feet." Cary grumbled to me.  
  
"Well you're doing alright for someone with two left feet." I assured him.  
  
"This has been some heck of a party hey?" Cary asked.  
  
"It sure has. It's funny though. I knew some of the people here to smile at as we passed on the street, but I didn't realise the extent of Grandma Olivia's influence." I said.  
  
"Yeah, well she had her finger in every pie!" Cary admitted. "I'll have to give her that-everyone knew her, and even though she could be so darn cold- hearted about business and things, everyone still liked her, and admired her!"  
  
I was about to reply when Holly called for everyone's attention. "I want to propose a toast!" She called. "To the newly engaged couple."  
  
Everyone was silent then, and Holly grinned around at everyone. "Firstly I want to thank you all for coming on such short notice. I'm sure it means a lot to Cary and Melody that you could all be here to celebrate their engagement. I haven't known Cary as long as most of you, and of course Melody hasn't been here as long as anyone, but I see the look in their eyes when they speak about each other, and I realise that it doesn't matter how long you've known someone. It's what you know. And I know this: I know that Cary and Melody are a great couple, and getting engaged was the best idea they've ever had! I want you all to raise your glasses and wish them the best of luck! To Cary and Melody!"  
  
"To Cary and Melody!" The crowd echoed raising their glasses.  
  
"And we'll see you all again at the wedding in a few months time!" Holly said with a grin. "Cary, Melody, do either of you want to say a word?"  
  
Cary shook his head, and then whispered to me "You're the one with the speaking talent. I heard your valedictorian speech remember!"  
  
I whispered back, "And did you see how long it took me to write and rewrite it?" I demanded. But he was having none of that, and he pushed me up towards the front.  
  
With everyone's eyes on me I felt a little embarrassed. "I don't have anything prepared of course since I had no idea how big this party was going to be. Holly told me it was only going to be a small one, but I guess coming from New York her idea of small is a little different to most of Provincetown!" Everyone laughed, and I felt a little braver. "I know most of you have known Cary since he was a little kid, but I've only been here a little while, so the fact that you would come to support us at our engagement party means double to me. Thank you all for making me feel welcome, and part of the town! And like Holly said I'll see you all at the wedding!"  
  
Everyone clapped and I hurried back to Cary who put his arm around me.  
  
"Okay everyone, go back to having fun!" Holly called, and Cary led me off the dance floor.  
  
"We've already proved I can't dance." He told me. I leant against him, and sighed. The dance floor was crowded with Cary's and my schoolfriends, even those who had teased us in high school. The older people milled around the edges, happily talking and drinking. In the course of the evening I felt as though I'd had a crash course in the who's who of Provincetown. And they all felt compelled to mention that it was such a shame that Grandma Olivia couldn't be here to join in. I saw Cary purse his lips at the comments, but he was on his best behavior, and said nothing. I'd spent awhile speaking to the judge, my grandfather, who pointed out various business people, and told me that once I came into all the money I would when I was twenty-five I'd be glad to know this. Of course I wasn't thinking that far ahead at this stage!  
  
"Are you happy?" Cary asked, bringing me back to the present.  
  
"Of course!" I said. "It was a great party."  
  
"Yeah, Holly really outdid herself." Cary agreed.  
  
"I wish Mommy had replied when I sent her the invitation to come. She didn't even say she couldn't come!" I said with a sigh. "I wonder if she will turn up to the wedding?"  
  
Cary frowned, but before he could speak Holly came rushing over to us. "Cary, Melody, can you come with me for a moment? It's very important-it's Sara!" She looked very worried.  
  
"Ma? What is it?" Cary demanded, instantly worried, but Holly didn't answer- she had turned and hurried off. We raced after her, our hearts in our throats. 


	7. The trouble with Aunt Sara

SIX:  
  
Inside the house the judge was kneeling next to Aunt Sara who was lying on the floor. May was standing nearby looking confused. When Holly came in behind us she went to May and put her arm around her. May smiled up at her gratefully.  
  
"MA!" Cary cried, racing to her, and dropping to the floor next to her. "What happened?"  
  
"I just twisted my ankle and fell Cary, no big deal." Aunt Sara said. I noticed that her ankle was rather swollen and she had beads of perspiration on her forehead from the pain.  
  
"Is it very painful? We'll take you to the hospital." Cary said.  
  
Aunt Sara smiled at him. "No, no it's not that bad." She assured him. "If you help me up I think I can walk-or hobble at least."  
  
The judge stood up, groaning as he straightened his back. "Melody, can I speak to you for a moment?" He asked me softly. The words startled me; I'd simply been standing back watching the scene. Whilst I was concerned for Aunt Sara something in Holly's words had implied that there was something worse wrong!  
  
I nodded, and we went into the kitchen.  
  
"Are you enjoying your party?" The judge asked me.  
  
"Very much, but Aunt Sara-" I began, but the judge interrupted me.  
  
"I offered to help Kenneth and Holly with the monetary side of things, but they refused. At first I thought it was just my son being stubborn as usual, but Holly assured me that it was just that they wanted to do this something for you." He explained.  
  
"Jud-Grandfather, "I corrected myself. "Please, is there something you're not telling us about Aunt Sara?"  
  
The judge sighed. "Well she did fall over and hurt her ankle as you saw." He said. "But that's not it, no. She was inside here talking, muttering to herself when Holly came in. Holly said she couldn't hear much of what she said, but it seemed like Sara was talking to Laura, or at least imagining she was speaking to Laura. And then when Holly spoke to her, Sara called you Laura about three times. Holly got the impression that Sara seemed to think that she was at the engagement party of Laura and Robert.."  
  
I gasped, my hand flying to cover my mouth. "How terrible!" I managed.  
  
"I know. And Holly came to tell me, and when I came back in I suggested to Sara that maybe she was tired and I could drive her home if you and Cary didn't want to leave yet. And she stared at me and said "I can't leave yet, this is my daughter's engagement party and she would want her mother here." I said to her, gently of course, that it was Cary's and yours, and then she turned around in circles a few times, almost as if she were looking for something, and started to run out of the room before falling and hurting her ankle."  
  
I felt sick. I didn't know what to say, or what to do.  
  
"Tell me Melody, has she acted strangely at home?" The judge asked.  
  
I thought about what Cary, May and I'd been talking about before the party. And in my mind I saw the protective, proud look on Cary's face when he said we'd just have to keep an eye on her, that she was just grieving for his father. And so I shook my head at the judge's question.  
  
He looked relieved at that. "Well I guess that's something then." He said with a sigh. "But I still think we need to make sure she gets help."  
  
"Cary wont like that!" I said.  
  
"I'm sure he won't. But if he cares about his mother than he would realise that it's the right thing to do. Now, do you tell him this, or do I?" The judge asked.  
  
I sighed. "I guess I should. It will be better coming from me."  
  
"I'm sure it's nothing major Melody." The judge assured me.  
  
"No." I agreed. "She's still upset about Uncle Jacob's death, that's all."  
  
*****  
  
Later that night we had Aunt Sara settled in her bed, with her ankle up on a pillow. "I'll be right dears, go to bed. You're both tired, and you've had a big night." She assured us. Cary had hesitated, but she had been firm. May had gone to bed also, and now Cary and I'd taken a brief walk down to the beach.  
  
Cary was talking about the party, and how impressed he had been by it all. "And that's not all Melody!" He told me, his eyes shining in the moonlight. "I had a few discussions with people about my building a boat for them!"  
  
I smiled proudly. "That's great Cary." I said. "But listen, there's something I've got to tell you. I wanted to tell you earlier as soon as I heard, but it wasn't really the right time!"  
  
Cary smiled. "Sure, what is it?" He asked.  
  
I told him, and I saw his face drain of color. "Are they sure?" He asked. "I mean, they didn't really hear what she was saying, she could have been muttering about wishing that Laura were there to share it all."  
  
"She specifically said to both the judge and Holly that she thought it was Laura's engagement party." I said, shaking my head.  
  
Cary put his face in his hands. "God.what do we do?" He moaned. "She's not crazy you know. She just doesn't know how to cope with Dad's death."  
  
"I know she's not crazy. And the judge seemed to think it wasn't too serious. We've got to get her to the doctor though-to make sure it's nothing serious, and so we can start helping her to get better. If we leave it, then maybe it'll get worse. And what if she speaks to people in town, and then they all know that she's having problems?" I added.  
  
Cary removed his hands from his face to glare at me. "You sounded like Grandma Olivia then-all concerned about the family reputation. We wouldn't want anyone to think that the Logan's have a crazy gene in them would we? Maybe we should just lock Ma up like they did for Belinda?" He practically yelled.  
  
I was shocked that he had misinterpreted my words, and meaning, so badly. "That's not what I meant at all!" I yelled back. "My god Cary Logan I would have thought you would have known me better than that. What I was actually thinking about was Aunt Sara's feelings. How awful it would be for her to be the topic of conversation of the town!"  
  
Cary calmed down. "I'm sorry, it's just I'm kind of sensitive when it comes to Ma. Especially considering Dad told me to look after her before he died." He said.  
  
I smiled weakly, but I was still a little upset about Cary thinking I'd meant that I didn't want to air the dirty linen in public rather than being concerned about the feelings of Aunt Sara. "Grandfather said he would get a doctor he knows to come over tomorrow?"  
  
"Sure." Cary agreed unhappily.  
  
"We don't really have any choice Cary!" I told him. "You know that!"  
  
"I know!" He replied, a little angrily. "I know that perfectly well. It just upsets me, that's all. Fine job I'm doing of looking after the family."  
  
"Cary." I said, putting my arms around him. "You're doing a great job. It's not your fault that Aunt Sara thinks she can cope with Uncle Jacob's death better by pretending that Laura's still alive!"  
  
"Can you imagine if we'd told her about what really happened?" Cary said, instead of responding to my comment directly.  
  
I shook my head. "It would have been bad."  
  
"Worse." Cary muttered, and I sighed, and squeezed his hand, which had come to take one of mine.  
  
"Everything's going to be alright Cary. Before you know it Aunt Sara will be feeling better, and won't need to pretend Laura's still alive to make her feel happier." I said.  
  
*****  
  
The next afternoon the judge and the doctor arrived. I'd sent Cary off to town earlier with May, who I reasoned, didn't need to worry about what was going on with her mother until we knew for sure. Whilst the doctor examined Aunt Sara, who was still up in her room with her sore ankle, the judge and I spoke about it.  
  
"Sara always worshipped Jacob." The judge said. "So it's no wonder that his death has hit her so hard."  
  
"But why wouldn't she pretend he was still alive instead of Laura?" I asked, confused. "And for that matter, why does she only do it sometimes?"  
  
The judge laughed. "I went to law school Melody, not medical school."  
  
I smiled weakly, and he sighed and took my hand and squeezed it gently. "I'm sure everything's going to be alright." He said, unconsciously echoing my comments to Cary the night before.  
  
The doctor came out then. I jumped up. "How is she? What's wrong with her?"  
  
"She seems alright at the moment. The consecutive losses of her daughter and her husband have hurt her. I don't think she realises that she is speaking out loud when she speaks of Laura as if she is alive. See, in Sara's mind Laura is alive. It's almost as if she's acting out her fantasy of Laura still being here. Anyway, I'm going to give her some medication which I want you to make sure she takes." I nodded. "And the other thing is, see whether you can occupy her time a bit more. I understand you're getting married soon?" I nodded again. "Well how about giving her something to do with organising the wedding? Spend time with her. Most importantly-if she speaks as if Laura is still alive make sure to remind her that she's not, as gently as you can of course."  
  
"So, she's alright then?" I asked, relieved.  
  
"She will be soon enough." The doctor replied, and I let out a deep breath. Thank god for that! 


	8. My real father

SEVEN:  
  
Cary was relieved to know that Aunt Sara would get better. "I told you it was just that she was grieving over Dad." He told me smugly.  
  
I laughed. "Okay, sorry Dr. Logan." I teased.  
  
He made a face. "You know what I meant!" He said. "We'll just have to make sure she takes her medication and keeps busy."  
  
"Well there are a million and one things to do for the wedding that I never even imagined, so she's going to be pretty busy."  
  
After I gave Cary the good news I sat May down and explained it all to her slowly. When I was finished she signed "So she will get back to normal soon?" I assured her that she would, and she was relieved also. Later that night, as Aunt Sara slept sedated, and May worked on her homework Cary and I sat on the porch and started talking about the wedding and our plans for buying a house. "It's not that I don't love living here," Cary hastened to explain. "But I just think it would be weird to start my married life here."  
  
"I understand completely. I feel the same." I assured him. I didn't mention that my feelings came more from the fact that the idea of Uncle Jacob staring down and frowning upon us gave me the creeps, than anything else.  
  
"Melody?" Cary asked.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"You're not upset that you're not going to college are you?" He asked.  
  
I sat up straight. "What made you think of that?" I demanded.  
  
"Nothing really.." He said, but I knew him well enough to know he wasn't telling me the truth.  
  
"Cary trust me. There is nothing in the world I want more than to become your wife!" I promised him, and he smiled at me.  
  
"I know I say it often but I just can't believe how lucky I am to have you. The day your mother left you here was the best day of my life!"  
  
I smiled too, and leant over to kiss him, softly at first, but then our kisses grew more passionate, and I felt his hand move to caress my breast. I moaned with pleasure. Since Grandma Olivia had died and we'd gotten engaged we had never had the house to ourselves, and I refused to let him come and sleep in my room. I was worried that Aunt Sara or May would find out, or catch us in our lovemaking. Cary complained that they'd never know, and even if they did they wouldn't care. "After all," He'd muttered sulkily after I'd turned him away from my room. "We're engaged!" He lifted me up slightly to get his hands under the back of my shirt. When I felt my bra clasp undone I pushed him away and sat up.  
  
He glared at me.  
  
"Cary! Not here!" I said, straightening my clothes, and taking a deep breath to quell the rising passion I had felt. "Not now!"  
  
"When then?" He asked. He was breathing heavily.  
  
"I'm sorry." I said simply.  
  
"Melody, we haven't made love since that time on the boat." Cary said. "Is there any reason for this you're not telling me?"  
  
"No!" I protested. "You know the reason. It's just.I can't not here." I didn't tell him but there was another reason I could never allow him and I to go all the way at this house. Even though Uncle Jacob was dead his presence remained there as a constant reminder to me that he thought I was just like my mother. I could imagine him glaring down at me now, and yelling "Harlot! Harlot! Just like Haille!"  
  
Cary sighed, and pushed his hair back. "Fine. I'm going to bed then. Goodnight Melody."  
  
"Goodnight Cary. I love you." I replied.  
  
He sighed again, and went inside, leaving me seated out there alone. It was a few minutes before I gathered my composure and went inside too. I thought about Aunt Sara and hoped she was better before the wedding. I didn't want her thinking it was Laura and Robert's wedding, and saying something to a guest who would then think she was crazy. In fact, in the meantime, I hoped she didn't say anything to anyone to let them know she wasn't completely with it at the moment!  
  
*****  
  
The next afternoon Cary dropped me off in town so I could do some shopping and then meet May to walk home from school with her. I could hardly believe it when I looked at her, how much she had grown up in the last year or so. I'd joked to Cary about her being able to have boyfriends soon, and he'd frowned. "I don't think so." He'd said. "May's special. Boys would take advantage of that!" I didn't bother replying to that, even though I could have told him all about the boy who May classed as her boyfriend, even though she had confessed to me all they did was hold hands! But sooner or later Cary'd have to face the fact his little sister was growing up-after all she was a teenager now!  
  
As I was walking down the street I heard my name being called, and I turned around quizzically. Then I wished I hadn't, it was Teddy Jackson-my real father. The last time I'd seen him had been just before Grandma Olivia died when I'd stormed into his office and demanded to know about Laura, and how much he'd known. He claimed that Grandma Olivia had blackmailed him into helping her. "I started to resist and she told me she would not hesitate to expose me." And then he admitted he had helped her with all the legal issues. I'd been disgusted, and I told him that I was glad he chose to be a coward about the whole thing with my mother because I didn't want anyone to know he was my real father, as I didn't think I'd be able to get over the shame. And then I'd walked out, and I hadn't seen him since. And to be honest, I hadn't wanted to see him either! Now here he was hurrying down the street to catch up to me, and I couldn't think of an excuse to turn and run the other way!  
  
"Melody. I heard about your engagement party the other night." He said, as he reached me. "It sounded wonderful."  
  
"It was wonderful." I said coldly.  
  
"When's the wedding?" He asked.  
  
"Six weeks. So you'll understand that I am very busy at the moment. I don't really have the time to stand here and talk." I said, my voice still cold.  
  
He sighed, and looked at the ground. "You mean you don't have the time to talk to me. Anyone else would be different."  
  
"What do you expect?" I snapped angrily. How dare he try and make it sound like he was some kind of victim, someone who deserved pity?  
  
"Melody, you've never really given me the chance to explain." He complained. '  
  
"I did let you explain. That day after school!" I argued. "But you couldn't explain. You only said you were a coward, and I've told you I agree with that!"  
  
"I never told you about my parents, did I?" He asked.  
  
"I don't care about your parents Mr. Jackson." I said.  
  
"My parents were very into their social standing." He said, ignoring my comment. "When my wife and I married they were delighted. When Adam was born they were even more so. They actually started his college trust fund then with five thousand dollars! But what they didn't know was that my wife changed then. It wasn't that she didn't love me and I didn't love her, but it was more that she was too preoccupied with Adam and being a Mom to give me the attention I needed-"  
  
"-So you turned to my mother is that it?" I interrupted. "Feeling neglected and unhappy you thought you'd turn to my mother?" I wanted to turn and walk away then, and not hear this, but my curiosity was too strong!  
  
"Maybe it was that in part. But the other part of me fell in love with your mother. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever known. I know I said she was seductive, and she was, but I let myself be intoxicated by her. I worked hard during the day and went home to a wife who was full with tales about her son, and had no time for me." He sighed, and glanced around. The street was empty and there was no way anyone had been able to hear what we were talking about.  
  
"You were lucky to have a wife who was such a devoted mother." I said coldly. "Some people don't have the luxury of a real mother!"  
  
"I know. I love my wife dearly, and I never will stop loving her. After Adam grew up a bit, things got back to normal. She became more like the woman I married." He admitted. "But by then your mother was already pregnant. She told me, but she never expected me to do anything. 'I know how your family and practice mean so much to you. I don't need or want your help. I just thought you should know!' She told me. I was floored, but even so I offered to help her, to give her money for my child. But she laughed and refused. The next thing I knew she'd accused Samuel of fathering her child, and she and Chester had run off. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought of her in the proceeding years, but as my life got fuller and busier the thoughts grew less frequent."  
  
I was silent for a moment and then I sighed. "I don't know why you were so anxious to tell me this." I finally admitted.  
  
"Because you need to know the truth. I understand you hate me, but I wanted you to at least hear my side of the story as well before hating me." He said.  
  
"And what about you?" I demanded. "What does telling me this do for you?"  
  
"It gets it off my chest. It eases my conscience." He said.  
  
I took a deep breath. "Well I'm glad you feel better after having told me what happened. In fact I appreciate you telling me when I am sure it was hard for you. But it doesn't help me. It doesn't make up for anything... I have to go or I'll be late meeting May after school."  
  
He sighed and looked at me sadly. "You won't forgive me will you?"  
  
"I don't think you need my forgiveness." I replied. "Goodbye Mr. Jackson."  
  
He didn't say anything to stop me walking away, and I'm glad because there were tears in my eyes as I left. I wished I hadn't listened to what he had to say, but my curiosity was too strong. After all there was not really much chance of my mother telling me, and even if she did how could I believe anything she said when I knew what she was really like? And now, even though I didn't forgive him, I thought perhaps I understood what had happened. I wasn't going to deny that my mother could possibly have seduced him, knowing her better than I had before my visit to LA in the summer. And I wasn't going to deny that it was his fault, but I knew it was more than likely my mother's as well. Suddenly, as annoying as it was to admit it, Teddy Jackson seemed a little human. But, I reminded myself sternly as I arrived at May's school, this didn't mean I liked him. As far as I was concerned he was never part of my life, and never would be. 


	9. Grandpa Samuel's confession

[A/N. I just realised I made a mistake in the prologue when I was speaking about Samuel and Belinda as both being alive. I realise that Belinda actually died at the end of "Unfinished Symphony."]  
  
EIGHT:  
  
As May and I walked home from school she noticed that I was quiet, and asked me what was wrong? I signed to her that nothing was wrong, I was just tired and there was a lot to do for the wedding. But in my heart I was confused over my feelings. I didn't like my real father, but I felt like he wasn't as bad as he had seemed. So May chattered away, telling me all about her boyfriend, and how he'd written her the nicest letter, and he'd even said he loved her. I smiled at her enthusiasm, remembering my first boyfriend back in Sewell-Bobby Lockwood. The last Alice had told me he was dating someone new. When May and I arrived home Cary had gone down to the dock to speak to Roy Patterson, and Aunt Sara had hobbled downstairs to lie on the couch.  
  
"Hello dears. How was school?" She asked as we walked in.  
  
May signed to her, telling her all about what she'd done, and about Henry, the boy she called her boyfriend.  
  
"Jacob wouldn't approve of you having a boyfriend." Aunt Sara said looking concerned. "If he were here now he'd be ranting and raving."  
  
"Aunt Sara," I spoke up. "Uncle Jacob would be proud of the beautiful young lady his daughter has turned into though."  
  
"Aye, that he would, that he would." Aunt Sara smiled. "He'd be proud of both his daughters."  
  
I felt my tongue stick to the roof of my mouth. "Aunt Sara you do remember that Laura is dead, don't you?"  
  
"Yes." She said, sadly.  
  
The silence in the room was stifling, and May reached for my hand, which I squeezed firmly.  
  
"Now," I said, taking charge. "Since you can't get up to fix dinner May and I'll have to make it. We'll just have to hope it's edible."  
  
"Oh I'm sure it'll be fine!" Aunt Sara assured us. "Oh and Melody you had a phone call before from the Judge. He asked that you call him straight back!"  
  
"Okay I'll call him back now before we begin dinner." I said, and went out to the phone. Morton answered and when he realised it was me he wanted to talk to me about the wedding. "The judge is very excited you know!" He told me. "With you asking him to walk you down the aisle and all." Finally he got the judge, who came on.  
  
"Melody, I'm sorry to call you, but I've got some news for you." He said.  
  
"News?" I repeated.  
  
"Do you want the good news or the bad?" The judge asked.  
  
I felt my heart begin to race. The way he said it sounded so ominous, and surely there was no more bad news. Not now that everything in my life was beginning to work out! "The good." I managed to say.  
  
"The good news is we've sold your Grandmother's estate!" The judge said. "And let me tell you now, the price was even more than I had expected. So Cary can begin his business sooner than planned. And of course now you're free to find a place for yourselves."  
  
"That's wonderful news Grandfather." I said. "Cary will be delighted to hear it!"  
  
"The bad news however is that Samuel seems to have taken a turn for the worse. He's suffered a stroke, and the nurses called to tell me that he's completely coherent and sane, and he's asking for you." The judge explained.  
  
"Oh no!" I said. "That's terrible. I'll have to get Cary to take me there right away. It's times like this I wished I'd booked in for my license sooner."  
  
"You better hurry Melody, it sounds bad." The judge said soberly.  
  
"Thanks Grandfather." I said as I hung up.  
  
I hurried into the living room and told Aunt Sara what had happened. Her eyes teared up. "He was the nicest man. He was so different to Olivia.."  
  
Then I ran down to the dock to get Cary. He saw me coming, and stood up to greet me. "Where's the fire?" He called, but then as I got closer he saw that there was something wrong. "Melody, what is it?" he asked as I ran into his arms.  
  
"Grandpa Samuel. He's very sick, we've got to go right now Cary." I explained, out of breath.  
  
"Now?" Cary repeated, but instead of replying I grasped his hand and pulled him up towards the house.  
  
*****  
  
In the truck on the way to the home where Grandma Olivia had put Grandpa Samuel Cary and I spoke about how much we loved him. Even though I knew the judge was my grandfather, I still cared about Grandpa Samuel very much, and still thought of him as my Grandfather as well.  
  
"When we were kids Grandma Olivia used to send Laura, May and I out of the room to play outside all the time. Grandpa Samuel used to find an excuse to leave the room and come out and give us something to eat or a toy or something.." Cary said with a sigh. "It's just so awful that he had to end up in that home."  
  
"I know. I was always so annoyed that Grandma Olivia put him in there in the first place, but when I spoke to the nurses about moving him, or bringing him back here I realised that it was the best place for him." I admitted. "At least he always seemed fairly happy when we saw him..."  
  
At the home the nurse recognized me straight away. "Samuel has been calling for you Miss Logan." She said.  
  
"I know. How is he?" I asked.  
  
"Not good. I'm surprised he's lasted this long, but I get the impression that he wanted to see you before he passed on." The nurse explained, and then she noticed Cary by my side. "Oh! We can only permit one family member in there at a time."  
  
"That's okay. You go in, and I'll wait outside." Cary said, giving me a smile.  
  
I took a deep breath and walked into the room. Grandpa Samuel was lying in bed, his eyes closed. He looked a lot older than he had when I had seen him last and I took another deep breath before going over to the bed and taking his hand.  
  
"Grandpa Samuel? It's me, Melody." I said softly.  
  
He opened his eyes, and smiled weakly. "Haille's Melody." He said.  
  
"That's right Grandpa." I said. "How are you feeling?"  
  
"I'm going to die." He said matter-of-factly.  
  
"No Grandpa!" I argued. "You're not going to die."  
  
"I am Melody, and I don't mind. I'm old and I'm tired..." He said. "It's like this stroke woke me up from a dream and I saw everything so clearly again. I know Olivia put me in here because she couldn't cope with me, and I remember being told she had died. Soon I'll be with her again-not that I think that's any great reward."  
  
"GRANDPA!" I cried. "Stop this! You're not going to die and-"  
  
"Melody I am!" For an old man he spoke firmly and with force. "But listen, I want to tell you some things before I die. Your Grandmother was a very strong person, and even though sometimes I hated the things she did I know why she did them...Melody this is hard for me to tell you..you might not care about me so much after you hear this.." He trailed off.  
  
"Grandpa," I said, my eyes filled with tears. "I will."  
  
"I was weak. I let myself be blackmailed-and by my own wife. But I was a coward- as all men are when faced with people knowing about their indiscretions." He said, taking a deep breath. I realised he didn't have much strength left in him, and he was using whatever he had to tell me something. Had he had an affair? Well if he had, I couldn't blame him- Grandma Olivia was hardly the most loving of women.  
  
"You know that the judge is your real Grandfather I know. Belinda, your Grandmother, was the most beautiful woman in her time. Every man in the town was enchanted with her-myself included. She was so different to her own sister-and I couldn't help but think that maybe I had been stuck with the wrong one. Belinda and I would spend hours together, walking and talking, and I'd confess my fears that I had made the worst choice imaginable in choosing Olivia. She'd laugh, that tinkly little laugh of hers, and tell me it wasn't too late. But I resisted her charms. That is until one day when Olivia and I had the most terrible fight, and I turned to Belinda for comfort. It wasn't long after that she found out she was pregnant, and I was so scared that the child was actually mine, however she traced it back, and worked out that it was the judge, not myself. But she must have said something to Olivia about it. When the baby was born, and Olivia decided that Belinda be put in the home I tried to argue, I tried to claim that Belinda wasn't insane. But Olivia told me that if I argued, if I didn't let her do it, she'd tell everyone about Belinda and I, and she'd throw me out on the street. She'd take me to court and lie so that I'd never be able to see my sons, and the girl I thought of as my daughter ever again. Faced with losing it all, I caved in. I let her put Belinda in the home, knowing that she didn't deserve to be there, that there wasn't really as much wrong with her as Olivia claimed in public.." He stopped and struggled for breath for a moment, while I held my own breath. "I could have resisted, I could have been brave, and lost other things, but kept my integrity. But I didn't. And I understand if you never forgive me, because I will never forgive myself for this."  
  
I took a deep breath. I was shocked at what he had told me-that Belinda hadn't needed to go into the home, but Grandma Olivia had put her in there regardless, blackmailing her own husband into agreeing. No wonder he felt bad about it, and no wonder he wanted to get it off his chest and tell me, but at that moment I wasn't mad at him. He'd been forced to make a choice between my Grandmother who wasn't even completely sane at the time, and his own children and life. No wonder he'd made the choice he had. And I had to tell him that now before it was too late.  
  
"Grandpa, listen to me carefully." I said. "I understand why you did what you did. I'm not mad at you. If I'm mad at anyone it's Grandma Olivia for being so hard as to put you in such a position. Of course you'd chose your children. You were a great father to them, and a great grandfather to us!"  
  
He relaxed and seemed to melt back into the bed. "You're a good girl Melody. You're going to be very happy."  
  
His hand slipped from mine, so only his fingertips remained in mine, but they grew slack, and his eyes closed. His head lolled onto the side, and I knew he was gone. I bent my head, and put my face on his hand, my tears falling on him. I hadn't been lying in anything I said to him. There was no point in me being mad, and blaming him for my Grandmother being left in the home. Not now.  
  
When I left the room Cary knew by the look on my face that Grandpa Samuel was dead. He took me in his arms and we cried together.  
  
"He was a great man." Cary said hoarsely.  
  
"I know." I agreed, holding him tight. We stood there a long time before we left the home to go back to Provincetown and tell everyone that Grandpa Samuel was dead. For the time being I kept the information that Grandpa Samuel had given me to myself. In my opinion I didn't have to tell anyone it. It wasn't going to change anything. 


	10. My mother's return

NINE:  
  
A few days later we held the funeral for Grandpa Samuel, and I was shocked at how many people turned up. There cars lined up outside for quite a way, and people milled outside in large groups.  
  
"I guess our grandparents really were pillars of this society." I said to Cary as we walked into the church. The church where Cary and I would be getting married in a little over a month.  
  
"Yeah," Cary agreed. "Even if Grandma Olivia was a monster, which reminds me-did your mother ever return your call about Grandpa Samuel?"  
  
I shook my head. "I left a message on her answering machine, but she didn't reply. I know she didn't show much emotion about Grandma Olivia dying, but I would have thought she would have been different about this. I know myself how much he doted on her!" I was angry at my mother's indifference. It didn't surprise me anymore, but it did annoy me, and I was hoping that she would call back soon so I could tell her exactly what I thought. The idea also occurred to me of telling her about how my real father had told me the story of them, but I dismissed it as quickly as it had come. There was no point in stirring up the past if you asked me!  
  
Cary made a noise of disgust, which I mistakenly thought was because of my mother's behavior, until he whispered "Don't look now but the entire Jackson clan is here."  
  
"Oh no!" I said. "I can't face them at the moment. I don't want to see Mr. Jackson after-" And then I realised that Cary hadn't yet been told about our conversation the other day. So much had happened since then that I had simply forgotten to tell him, but if I mentioned it now he'd be sure to think I was keeping it from him.  
  
"After what?" Cary asked perceptively.  
  
"After knowing he's my father and all and the role he played in certain things.." I muttered.  
  
"Well bad luck, because he and the family are headed this way." Cary replied, trying not to speak too loudly.  
  
"Cary. Melody." Mr. Jackson said as he reached us. "I'm sorry about this. Samuel was an amazing man."  
  
"He was." Mrs. Jackson chimed in. "I remember one time I was coming home in the rain with Adam from the shops when he was only little, and we were soaking because stupid me locked the keys in the car. And not only did he go out of his way to drive us home, but he also helped carry all the shopping in. And when I thanked him, he actually seemed puzzled about me thanking him!"  
  
Cary smiled. "Well that was Grandpa Samuel for you, right Melody?" He asked me.  
  
"Right." I said trying to appear polite. "Grandpa Samuel was a real gentleman."  
  
I saw a flicker of pain run through Mr. Jackson's eyes, but it was gone so quickly maybe I imagined it. "Well, we better get a seat." He said.  
  
During the funeral quite a few people were crying, including myself. Even the knowledge that Grandpa Samuel was not my real grandfather hadn't stopped me from loving him. Cary whispered to me "Don't cry Melody, he's probably better off where he is now. You saw the way he was before, when he couldn't remember things, and there's no way that was a life!" But I still cried.  
  
*****  
  
It took a few days after the funeral before things began to get back to normal. Whether it was Grandpa Samuel's death, or the medication, Aunt Sara was beginning to get back to normal, and things were well under way for the wedding. Theresa Patterson came over to see me one afternoon. She hadn't been able to afford to go to college and was working in town instead.  
  
"It seems like your wedding is going to be the event of the year!" She told me with a grin. "Have you given any thought to your honeymoon?"  
  
"Honeymoon?" I repeated, a little embarrassed by the smirk on her face.  
  
"Well you'll have to have one won't you?" Theresa demanded. "You can't get married without having one!"  
  
"I guess we'll have one.." I admitted. "Maybe we'll go to New York or somewhere. I was there for a few days and it was great!"  
  
"Not very romantic though?" Theresa asked, making a face.  
  
"Oh I don't know." I said. "Hansom cabs through Central Park, the view from the Empire State.."  
  
"Well whatever turns you on-in more ways than one!" She said, and I had to laugh.  
  
*****  
  
That evening after Theresa left I was making dinner when I heard a car pull up out the front. A few minutes later it drove off, and there was a knock on the door. I sighed, wiping my hands on my apron. I was trying to make a nice fried chicken dish Cary had mentioned he liked, and I didn't need any interruptions! When I opened the door my mouth dropped open in shock.  
  
"Well fine welcome I get from my own daughter!" My mother grumbled. "Aren't you going to help me with my things?"  
  
I glanced down, and saw that she had three large suitcases with her.  
  
"Uh, sure.." I said, and I picked one up, grunting from the effort. "I didn't know you were coming."  
  
"Nor did I." My mother admitted, as we went inside. "I've finished filming my bit, and I thought it would do me good to get away for a few days, so I thought why not go visit Melody, and the family?"  
  
"Why not?" I echoed, but there was something unspoken lingering. It didn't seem right that my mother, who had all but ignored us in the last few years, would now want to spend some time here in Provincetown.  
  
"And considering I won't be able to make your wedding too-which reminds me, look at you Melody-you look like you've been cooking!" My mother said.  
  
"I have been cooking Mommy." I replied. "And what do you mean you can't make the wedding?"  
  
"I'm going to France!" My mother squealed. "France! Do you believe it Melody?"  
  
"No." I said dully. Again my mother had crushed me. She was actually going to France rather than her own daughter's wedding. And then another thought occurred to me. "Mommy people round here wouldn't know you as Gina Simon, they'd know you as Haille Logan who they all thought was dead. How are we going to explain that?"  
  
"Exactly the reason I can't come to you wedding Melody!" My mother said triumphantly, but I got the impression that she had just seized on this as an excuse. "And I won't leave the house and go into town where people will see me. I just needed to get away from L.A for a few days."  
  
But I still didn't think she was telling me the complete truth.  
  
"I've got to get back to my cooking Mommy." I said. "I'm making a chicken dish Cary has always liked and I want it to be just perfect."  
  
"Already it starts." My mother said, shaking her head. "I warned you about this Melody-you could be a star, really make something out of yourself. If you had of stayed in L.A-"  
  
"Mommy, maybe you don't mind what it takes to be a star, but I sure do. The film that Archie arranged for me to be in.." I shuddered just thinking about it. And thinking about my mother's reaction when I'd told her what had happened, and how she had said oh so casually that she had been in those sort of movies before herself. "So, what's up with Archie anyway?" I asked, as we went into the kitchen, and I went back to my cooking.  
  
My mother sighed, and threw herself into a kitchen chair. "It's funny you should ask actually." She admitted. "He's part of the reason I'm here."  
  
"You mean you're not just here for a holiday and to see me?" I asked, not surprised. I had guessed from the beginning that there was more to my mother's visit.  
  
"Not exactly." My mother said. "He's been harassing me a lot lately. Firstly he claims I owe him money, and secondly he claims he wants another chance with me, and that he really loves me. I'm sure he does of course, but I've gotten used to being single now, and I'd never go back to anything else I don't think!"  
  
I felt tears prick my eyes. How did my mother manage to hurt me so much without trying? Hadn't she been happy with my father and me in Sewell?  
  
Just then Aunt Sara and May returned home from school. Aunt Sara looked shocked to see my mother, but then she recovered her composure. "Haille!" She said. "How nice to see you!"  
  
"Hello Sara," My mother replied sounding a little uncomfortable. "How have you been?"  
  
"Can't complain." Aunt Sara replied, even though if anyone had any complaints to make it would be her, with her ankle and her condition. "Are you here for Samuel's funeral? Because if you are you're a little late!"  
  
"Samuel's funeral?" My mother repeated looking shocked. "What?"  
  
"Grandpa Samuel died Mommy." I said. "I called and left a message on your answering machine."  
  
"Oh, well I was on location and then I came straight here so I didn't get it." My mother replied. "How did it happen?"  
  
"He had a stroke." I replied. "But it might have been better that way when you consider how he was and all."  
  
"Right." My mother replied quietly.  
  
There was silence in the kitchen for a moment, and then my mother asked Aunt Sara "Do you have anything to drink in here? I mean, anything proper to drink? Like gin or something?"  
  
Aunt Sara shook her head. "No, we don't have alcohol in here. Jacob doesn't like it."  
  
"Doesn't like it huh?" My mother repeated, her eyes narrowed. "Melody, I don't suppose you could go into town and get me some?"  
  
"Sorry Mommy, I'm not going for my license until next week. But maybe Cary could when he gets back from the docks?" I offered.  
  
My mother sighed. "I guess I'll have to wait then. If you don't mind I think I might freshen up before dinner-I've had a long trip."  
  
We didn't mind. After my mother had gone upstairs to the guest room where I had put her bags Aunt Sara sank weakly into a chair. "I didn't know she was coming." She said.  
  
"Nor did I." I assured her. "I think she's just here for a few days before she's off to France."  
  
"France." Aunt Sara shook her head. "She does get around doesn't she?"  
  
*****  
  
When Cary got in later I greeted him at the door. "Cary, sweetie-" I began, but he interrupted me, and threw his arms around me.  
  
"Melody, on my lunch break today I went and had a look at something, and you've got to come and see it tomorrow." He told me excitedly.  
  
"Something?" I repeated. "Something what?"  
  
"A house. And not only a house Melody, but it also has a huge shed on the beach. It's perfect for us. We can use the shed for my business!" Cary said, a big smile on his face.  
  
I couldn't help but smile too. His happiness was infectious. "That's great. We'll go have a look at it tomorrow, and then maybe we can get things rolling, so as soon as we're married you can begin work."  
  
"And also I've been thinking, I know Dad wouldn't like this, but I've decided to sell the business to Roy Patterson at a very reasonable price. I won't have time for it, and he's worked for us for years. He deserves the chance to be his own boss now."  
  
"You don't have to convince me Cary, I agree with you one hundred percent." I said, hugging him tighter.  
  
"Cary Logan? Is that you? My future son-in-law." My mother said, making her entrance.  
  
Cary looked shocked. "Uh, hello Haille." He said, looking at me surprised.  
  
"Mommy just surprised us all by dropping in for a few days Cary." I said in answer to his puzzled look. "Then she's off to France."  
  
"France hey?" He said, still clearly shocked by the whole thing.  
  
"All the stars go there." My mother explained. "Now Cary, Melody and I were thinking that a nice bottle of wine would go good with our dinner, and perhaps a bottle of Gin for after it?"  
  
Cary nodded slowly. "Sure, I'll go into town and get it then, Melody?"  
  
I nodded.  
  
Cary left and I went back into the kitchen to make sure the dinner was coming along alright. May set the table for me, and my mother watched her.  
  
"She's sure grown up." My mother commented. "Quite a beauty too."  
  
"Yeah." I agreed, peering at the chicken critically.  
  
"Bet she'll have a lot of boyfriends." My mother said.  
  
"Don't say that in front of Cary!" I told her. "He's very protective of her."  
  
"Well that's only natural with her being the way she is and all." My mother said.  
  
"Deaf Mommy," I began, but Aunt Sara came in then, and I stopped.  
  
"Yes, well." My mother said. "And I heard what Cary was telling you about the house tomorrow. I can't wait to see it."  
  
I frowned, but said nothing-how could I? But I knew Cary wasn't going to be too impressed to have my mother along with us when we checked it out. 


	11. Secrets

TEN:  
  
The next morning after breakfast Cary turned to me "Are you ready? Let's go see the house!"  
  
His excitement made me smile. "Let me just clean this mess up first Cary-" I began, but Aunt Sara interrupted me.  
  
"I'll do it Melody. I don't think Cary can wait. He's obviously very impressed by this place." But there was a sad tone in her voice when she said it. When Cary and I moved out it would leave just her and May in the house. I made a mental note to mention it to Cary.  
  
My mother jumped up. "Great, let's go. I can't wait to see the place!" She said brightly.  
  
Cary's eyes swung to me, with a disbelieving look in them. I simply shrugged, how could I tell my own mother we didn't want her to come with us? In the truck my mother chatted away, telling us things from her childhood when she was growing up in Provincetown. From the look on Cary's face I could see he didn't seem to care, but I was listening intently. After all, how often had my mother spoken about this place and growing up here?  
  
"We used to spend the entire day out on the boat, swimming and fishing, and sunbaking. Chester, Kenneth and I always got on well. Jacob would come with us, but he was such a sourpuss sometimes." She made a face.  
  
I saw Cary's hands tightening on the steering wheel.  
  
"Was that when you fell in love with Kenneth Mommy?" I asked.  
  
"I suppose so. Kenneth was such a handsome man, such a nice man too.." My mother sighed. I had the impression from when I had spoken to her about this before that if she hadn't found out that the judge was her real father she would have married Kenneth.  
  
This made me think about the judge, and I said "The judge is going to give me away at the wedding Mommy. I hope you don't mind."  
  
"Why should she mind?" Cary muttered.  
  
"Giving you away?" My mother repeated confused. "Isn't that a little strange?"  
  
"Why should it be?" I demanded. "He's my real grandfather isn't he? And he's a nice man, he has paid for what he did in more ways than one, and I forgive him for it."  
  
"He always had a way of charming females." My mother muttered bitterly, but before I could respond Cary interrupted.  
  
"Look up onto the hill." He said.  
  
My head swiveled to do what he'd requested. On top of the hill sat a fairly large house, one made in the style of most Cape Cod homes, but one which also managed to look different. And beside it sat a huge shed, with a path which led down to the ocean. I could see why the place had caught Cary's eye.  
  
"Doesn't look very special." My mother muttered, but Cary and I both disagreed.  
  
When he stopped the car I jumped out and hurried up the steps onto the front porch. Cary followed at a slower, steadier pace, and I waited impatiently for him to join me with the key. Once inside I fell in love. The house had been recently repainted, and I spent the longest time in the kitchen. I closed my eyes and imagined myself in here cooking for Cary and I.  
  
"Well?" Cary asked from the doorway.  
  
My eyes flew open. I hadn't known he was there. "Well I love it!" I said. "We've got to get this place Cary-it's perfect."  
  
A grin lit up his face, and he hurried to embrace me. "I knew you'd love it!" He said, and he kissed my forehead, then my nose, and then my lips. I kissed him back, and he wrapped his arms round me, drawing me closer into him. My own arms encircled his strong back, as we kissed passionately.  
  
"I hope I'm not interrupting anything." My mother said a grin on her face.  
  
Cary and I both jumped apart. "I'm going to go have another look at the shed." Cary muttered, red faced. He hurried out of the house without looking at my mother.  
  
"Do you really love him Melody?" My mother asked a strange look on her face.  
  
"Of course I really love him Mommy, what kind of question is that?" I demanded.  
  
"I just wanted to know." My mother said with a sigh. "Melody, I don't want to butt in here-"  
  
"-Then don't butt in!" I said, not wanting to hear what she had to say.  
  
"I have to." My mother said, with another sigh. "Melody, I think you're making a mistake marrying Cary."  
  
"Mommy, I don't want to hear this!" I said angrily. "Of course you think it's a mistake. I've never seen anyone get over the death of their own husband as quickly as you got over Daddy's death."  
  
My mother winced. "Melody, despite what it might look like to you I really did love Chester. And I wasn't unhappy all the time. We had our happy moments." She smiled softly, obviously remembering one of those good times. "But I shouldn't have married. I'm not the marrying type. And I think that before you get married you should find out what type you are. I don't want to see you make a mistake, and be stuck in a marriage you don't want to be in."  
  
"Mommy," I said coldly. "I may be young, but I know what I want. I love Cary, and I want to marry him."  
  
And then I walked past her and outside to see the shed that Cary was so excited about.  
  
*****  
  
Later that afternoon Aunt Sara, my mother and I were sitting in the lounge room looking through photographer samples for the wedding. That is Aunt Sara and I were. My mother was sitting there, staring into space. She hadn't said a word on the way home from the house, so I'd covered the silence, chattering about how I loved the house, and different plans I had for it. I don't know whether Cary noticed my mother's silence or not. If he did he said nothing about it. When we got back to the house he gobbled lunch down and then hurried down to the dock. He wanted to discuss his plans for Roy taking over the business with Roy. A noise out the front made my mother jump a mile.  
  
"What was that? Is there someone there?" She asked nervously.  
  
"If there's someone there you'll have the time to get into your room and hide Mommy." I assured her. "Nobody in town is going to know you're here don't worry."  
  
A confused look crossed my mother's face, and then she nodded. "Right." She said softly.  
  
"Oh look!" Aunt Sara exclaimed. "This photo is gorgeous."  
  
I had a look. The newly married couple were striking a classic pose, arms around each other, facing each other, gazing into each other's eyes lovingly. But the background is what caught my eye. It was sunset on the beach, and it was beautiful.  
  
"Yes." I said, in my mind the couple were replaced with Cary and I, and it was perfect. "What do you think Mommy?" I asked, trying to draw her into the discussion.  
  
"Hmmm..oh lovely, lovely." My mother replied, not even really looking at the photo.  
  
I raised an eyebrow. What was on her mind? I didn't have to guess long. The phone's ringing interrupted us, and I got up to answer it.  
  
"That you Melody?" Asked a familiar voice. I couldn't quite put my finger on who it was though.  
  
"It's Archie, Archie Marlin. Can I speak to Gina?" He asked.  
  
Taken aback by hearing Archie's voice I was flustered for a moment. And then I said, "She's not here." I remembered what my mother had said, about how Archie was harassing her and she wanted to get away from him. And as much as she annoyed me I didn't like Archie, and I didn't like the idea of him trying to worm his way back into her life!  
  
"Not there? What do you mean not there?" He demanded. "Of course she's there. The plan was for her to go there for a few days."  
  
"The plan?" I repeated, confused.  
  
"Right, so tell me: is she there or not?" He demanded.  
  
"Hold on a moment." I said resignedly. I went back into the living room. "Mommy, Archie's on the phone for you."  
  
"For me? How did he know I was here? I tell you Melody, I don't think I'm ever going to be able to get away from that man completely." She sighed, and got up.  
  
"Mommy, what's the plan?" I asked.  
  
My mother looked at me in shock. "The what?" She repeated.  
  
"When I found out who was on the phone I said you weren't here-since Archie's meant to be harassing you and all, and he got quite annoyed, and said of course she's there, that was the plan. What's the plan Mommy?" I demanded.  
  
She faltered on her way out of the room. "I don't know what he is talking about Melody." She said, but I didn't believe her for one moment.  
  
"Just for once in your life can you tell the truth HAILLE LOGAN?" I yelled, deliberately using her real name.  
  
She winced. "Melody dear-"  
  
"-Don't 'Melody dear' me!" I snapped. "You know something Mommy- every time Grandma Olivia, or Uncle Jacob said something bad about you I argued with them not wanting to hear it. But now I realise they were right: you're a selfish liar. And I don't want to speak to you again!"  
  
Suddenly my mother seemed to wilt. "Okay, okay.." She said, and she came over and sank back into the chair. "Let me tell you something Melody-I might have had a little part in a Mel Gibson movie, but I knew there was no way one little bit part was going to make me a star. So did Archie. He's not my agent anymore, but that doesn't mean we don't have a relationship. Life has been getting tougher and tougher for us. We can't pay bills, we can't buy clothes and the other things I need to make me a star. I'm not going to France-there is no way I could afford to go to France. We're desperate."  
  
"So you lied to me?" I asked, surprised. "Why Mommy?"  
  
"Archie and I thought maybe you might help us out a bit. Give us some money so I can get some new clothes, and my nose done. After all, surely you want to see me become a famous actress right Melody? Then you could be so proud of your mother? Boast to all your friends about your star mother?" She said.  
  
I didn't know what to say. "How could I boast about you? Do you think anyone's going to believe me when I say that's my mother up there on the screen. Everyone thinks your dead Mommy. When you pulled that trick." I trailed off, trying to find the words to say. "And even if I wanted to give you money, which I don't after this terrible trick, I couldn't. I don't get it until I'm 25, except the money from the sale of Grandma Olivia and Grandpa Samuel's house. And that's going into our house and the business, there won't be anything left over!"  
  
My mother glared at me. "You mean you won't even help your own mother?" She asked angrily. But I was just as angry!  
  
"What kind of mother have you ever been to me?" I snapped. "You left me here and went off with your stupid boyfriend. And then you faked your own death so I'd never know you were alive, and never see you again. If Alice hadn't sent me the photo, and if Kenneth hadn't identified it, and if Holly hadn't taken me-well, the point is there is no way that you've acted like my mother!"  
  
My mother sighed. "I guess that means you're not going to give me anything."  
  
"You guessed it right Mommy." I said coldly. "And if you don't mind I think you should leave as soon as you can."  
  
Aunt Sara had been sitting openmouthed during this confrontation. Now she shook her head, and muttered something about getting coffee, and hurriedly left the room.  
  
My mother's eyes followed her. "Is there something wrong with her?" She asked. "She hasn't seemed like herself since I've been here."  
  
I thought about Aunt Sara's problems, although she had seemed a lot better lately, but there was no way I was going to tell my mother this. Instead I said, "She's upset about Uncle Jacob of course. Now, don't you think you should go and tell Archie that it was a wasted plan and then call a cab and get back to him?"  
  
My mother nodded and left the room. I heard her on the phone for a bit and then upstairs packing her bags. Aunt Sara popped her head in the room and muttered that she was going to go and pick a few cranberries for a sauce for tea. I knew she hated confrontations, so I just smiled and said fine. Besides the last thing she needed was to be upset by something else when she was beginning to get better.  
  
Soon my mother was back downstairs, and the cab out the front. "I'll see you later Melody." She said, hesitating.  
  
"Goodbye Mother." I said coldly.  
  
"Mother?" She repeated. "Melody, listen to me; I know I've hurt you, but if there is one thing you really need to trust me on it's this: you can't marry Cary."  
  
"Mother!" I snapped. "Surely you've done enough damage here?"  
  
"If you don't believe me then go and ask the judge!" My mother replied, and then she left the house, and a moment later the cab was driving off. I sat there, tears rolling down my checks even though I wished they weren't. I wasn't crying just because of the way my mother had tried to trick me, but also because I was confused. What had she been talking about telling me I couldn't marry Cary? And then saying to ask the judge? If the judge knew a reason why Cary and I couldn't be married wouldn't he have told me? Surely he wouldn't have offered to give me away at a wedding which couldn't be!  
  
Aunt Sara came in then, and seeing my tears, hurried to embrace me. "Don't cry dear." She said. "Even if your mother's not here I'm here, and I love you as much as I love May, and as much as I loved Laura. I'll be like your mother!"  
  
I smiled through my tears. "I know Aunt Sara." I said. But I decided that the next day I would have to make a visit to the judge. 


	12. Revelations!

ELEVEN:  
  
Cary was surprised to see my mother was gone when he got back from the dock. "Where is she? She hasn't gone into town has she?" He asked. I was still sitting in the room, while Aunt Sara bustled about the kitchen busy with dinner.  
  
I shook my head. "No. She left." I said.  
  
"Left?" Cary repeated a confused look on her face. "You mean, she's gone to France already?"  
  
"She's not going to France. She lied to us Cary. She came here and was going to put the hard word on me for some money for her and that creep Archie Marlin." I said frowning. "And now she's gone, and I don't think she'll be back."  
  
Cary hurried to take me into his arms. "Don't be sad Melody." He said. "She was never much of a mother anyway. We're better off without her, aren't we?"  
  
"Of course we are." I said. I'd said things like this before, but this time I was convinced I really meant it! After the cold way she had tried to trick me when she could have just asked me for money if she was so bad off. And the way she lied about Archie Marlin knowing how I felt about him. I felt myself getting madder, and so I pulled away from Cary, and took a deep breath.  
  
"After tea I'm going to go visit the judge Cary, I've got some things I want to discuss with him." I said. I'd been planning on going the next day, but something told me that I might want to go sooner.  
  
"Okay, we'll go over after dinner." Cary replied. "It's no problem."  
  
"We?" I asked.  
  
"Sure..unless, is it just going to be boring wedding details?" Cary asked.  
  
"No I- actually yeah, it'll probably bore you. I mean, you don't really care what color flowers there are and that, do you?" I replied, glad for the excuse.  
  
"Isn't Ma helping you with that side of things?" Cary asked, a little confused.  
  
"Of course she is, but I thought it would be nice to get a man's view, that is a man of the world, not a young one like you." I said, wondering where on earth I pulled these kind of lies from. Maybe I was more like my mother than I thought if lies came to me like this. I pushed that thought away quickly-at that moment I didn't want to have a thing in common with my mother!  
  
"Right, well I'll drop you off, and then I might go and drop the papers over at Roy's place and then come back for you." Cary said. "Maybe we could go and get ice-cream or something afterwards. I know we're engaged and all, but I feel like I never get you alone."  
  
"Ice-cream sounds great." I replied. I just hoped I would have an appetite after I'd heard what the judge had to say-my mother had made it seem ominous.  
  
*****  
  
"Melody! What a lovely surprise!" Morton said.  
  
I smiled at him. "I'm sorry, I know I'm making a habit of dropping in unannounced-"  
  
"-Oh nonsense! The judge is always glad to see you." Morton assured me.  
  
And therefore a few minutes later I was seated in the room with the judge, wondering where to begin. The judge knew my mother was still alive-I hadn't been meaning to tell him, but I had not that long ago.  
  
"I'm glad you're here Melody." The judge said with a smile. "I've got the proceeds from the sale of your grandparents estate here." He held out a cheque and I took it silently.  
  
"Thank you Grandfather." I said solemnly.  
  
He looked thoughtful. "You came here for a reason didn't you Melody? I've seen that look on your face before."  
  
"Mommy was here for a bit." I blurted out.  
  
"Haille was here?" The judge asked looking shocked. "I wish I'd known she was coming. I might have came round to say hello."  
  
"Nobody knew Grandfather." I told him. "She just turned up." All of a sudden in my head I heard Uncle Jacob: bad pennies always turn up!  
  
"Oh." He said, and then he shrugged and forced a smile. "And how is she?"  
  
"The same as always." I said dryly. "Convinced that she's going to become a star, and no kind of parent."  
  
"Well she's still your mother Melody, regardless of her faults.." The judge said. I saw his eyes go dreamy, and I thought he might be remembering my mother when she was a teenager on the cape. He shook his head, and his eyes cleared. "Anyway, as long as she was well."  
  
"Grandfather," I said taking a deep breath. "Mommy told me something, but she didn't tell me why. She said to ask you. Is there any reason I can't marry Cary?"  
  
The judge slumped in his chair, and his face went pale. I felt my heartbeat quicken.  
  
"Grandfather?" I practically whispered, hoping he would tell me that there was no reason why Cary and I couldn't be married, and everything would be all right. But something in his expression told me that this wasn't going to be the case.  
  
"I wasn't going to speak of this, and I hoped nobody else would either." The judge said. "When Haille was a teenager she was the most beautiful girl you could imagine-you look a lot like her you know-and everyone was besotted by her. And when I say everyone I mean everyone, not just all the local boys. I guessed when I was watching them on the beach one day that Jacob had feelings for his adoptive sister-as he believed her to be-deep feelings. But I never thought anything would come of it. Jacob wasn't exactly Haille's type and she and Kenneth were very close. Of course knowing I was Haille's real father meant I didn't want her and Kenneth to get too close so when he told me how much he loved her and how he wanted to marry her I had no choice but to tell her the truth, however much Kenneth may still resent me for it. After that, as you probably know, Haille changed. Now she was happy to have the attentions of anyone-even Jacob." The judge stopped to clear his throat and I sat perched on the edge of my seat, knowing that the outcome was going to be something horrible. Now what you probably don't know is that when Haille found out she was pregnant she came to me first. She didn't know how to tell Olivia and Samuel, and she wanted my advice. She also confided something to me she told nobody else- that she thought Jacob could be the father. Jacob or Teddy Jackson was what she told me. When Olivia tried to get it out of her she refused to tell, but I always wondered whether Olivia had any idea or not? Olivia wasn't the type to not know things was she? I'm pretty sure Chester had no idea. Right up until his death he more than likely believed that his own father was responsible for your birth, when it could very well have been his own brother instead..."  
  
I didn't know what to say now. Uncle Jacob could possibly be my father not Teddy Jackson. My mother might have picked sour Uncle Jacob over suave Teddy Jackson. And then it dawned on me! If there was a possibility that Uncle Jacob was my real father than there was also a possibility that Cary was my half brother. I wanted to be sick. I think I must have gone pale or something because the judge was at my side in an instant.  
  
"Morton! Can you get a glass of water pronto?" He bellowed. A moment later Morton brought the water in and after I had taken a long sip I felt a bit better, although I was still in shock at what I had just heard!  
  
"If this is true, why didn't you tell me earlier? When you knew Cary and I were in love and thinking of getting married?" I asked.  
  
"I guess because it is only a possibility that Jacob was your father. More than likely it was Jackson." The judge explained. "And I wanted you to be happy, since you deserve it more than anyone. And when you think about it, Cary's not a very close relation if this is true and-"  
  
"-Nonetheless you should have told me earlier!" I said angrily.  
  
"Melody please!" The judge begged. "Don't be mad. Try to understand my reasons. I love you. I want you and Cary to be happy."  
  
"I can't marry him now, can I?" I asked, feeling as though my heart was breaking.  
  
"Of course you can Melody-you mother, you and I are the only ones who know this. And it might not even be true. Do you want to sacrifice happiness for something debatable?"  
  
I didn't reply. I didn't know.  
  
And then there was the sound of the truck out the front and a few minutes later Morton had shown Cary into the room.  
  
"Ready for some ice-cream?" Cary asked me. "I've been dreaming of chocolate chip, and peppermint since I dropped you off."  
  
I forced a smile. "Right. I'm ready." I said.  
  
The judge smiled. "Go on then kids, get out of here and get some ice-cream. You probably won't have much time for fun together before you get married soon." He said.  
  
I turned sharply and looked at him. To anyone else he would have looked completely innocent, but to me he was telling me not to do anything stupid. Telling me to marry Cary and be happy. I forced a goodbye and hurried to the truck.  
  
As we drove Cary looked at me strangely. "Are you all right Melody?"  
  
'Of all the times for Cary to get perceptive!' I thought, but I nodded. "Sure, I'm just a bit tired. You know, stress and things from the wedding." I said, wishing I didn't have to lie to him. But how could I tell him what I had just learnt? I thought then he might just take me home so I could go to bed.  
  
"Well an ice-cream should make you feel better then." He said.  
  
I smiled tightly.  
  
It was only a few minutes later that Cary and I were seated with ice creams. Cary had a sundae with both chocolate chip ice cream and peppermint ice cream, topped with whipped cream. I had only a scoop of vanilla in a cone. For some reason I didn't really have much of an appetite. As we ate Cary talked about the house and how excited he was about the whole thing. I tried to act like I was excited too, but even though I didn't think I did a very good job, Cary was fooled. When we got back to the house he put his arms around me, and pushed my hair from my forehead gently.  
  
"Now get to bed and get some sleep. Of course this wedding is the most exciting thing in my life but I don't want you killing yourself over it okay?" He said softly.  
  
I nodded, and he kissed me gently on the lips. Then I went into my room, and threw myself on the bed. What was I going to do? I had to let Cary know the news, but it would crush him. Not only that it would make him hate his father. Even though Uncle Jacob was dead Cary took a lot of stock in what he would think about things. But if I didn't tell him, if I just called the wedding off it would hurt him even more. I couldn't face him if I did that to him. So, could I just marry him and go on hoping it was Teddy Jackson who was my real father? I didn't know. It took me a long time to get to sleep that was for sure! As I was finally falling asleep I told myself what Scarlet O'Hara had told herself in "Gone with the wind"- tomorrow's another day! 


	13. Runaway

[A/N. I know this chapter is a little bit smaller than the usual one but I had to end it there as you'll see soon! I also want to explain that the reason the start bit where Melody made her decision to leave was only fairly brief-the reason was that when she made the decision she knew she had to stick to it and not look back!]  
  
TWELVE:  
  
It was only five-thirty in the morning when I snuck downstairs, a suitcase in one hand, and my bag in the other. Whenever the stairs creaked I stopped, my heart in my throat, listening for any sound of stirring. I felt like a naughty kid sneaking out! Downstairs I rang for a taxi requesting that they come to the end of the driveway and therefore not wake up anyone in the house. I think perhaps I made my decision the night before, but as I tossed and turned around three I decided to definitely do it. This was the best way, just leaving a note on the bench and going. Cary wouldn't find out about Uncle Jacob's infidelity, nor would Aunt Sara or May. It would also save both Cary and I the pain of me having to make up some reason as to why I couldn't marry him, and still having to see each other. Not that either of us wasn't going to be hurting, but I knew this was the only way to do it at all humanely. I quickly re-read the letter again before placing it on the bench. It was short and to the point, if it were any longer I might have put more of my feelings in it and this could have led Cary to believe that there was some hope for us when there couldn't be.  
  
"Dear Cary,  
  
I know when you read this you're going to be hurt, but this is the only thing I could do. I can't marry you Cary. I am going away, and I don't expect you to look for me because I don't want to be found. It's too hard. But trust me on this Cary-I'm doing the right thing, even if you don't believe it. I'm leaving you some money Cary and I want you to start the boat-building business. Don't give up your dreams! I want you to find someone else to love and be happy with.  
  
Love Melody."  
  
Taking a deep breath I looked around the place that had become my home one last time. Then I walked outside and then down the driveway to wait for the taxi to arrive. I didn't allow myself to look back because I was scared I might weaken and go back.  
  
*****  
  
"Melody! Holly didn't tell me you were coming!" Billy said in surprise when I walked into the small crystal shop. It looked exactly like it had when I had been there last. A flowery incense was burning, and Far Eastern music was playing softly in the background. Crystals and stones were crowded around everywhere. Billy also looked the same, although his ebony hair seemed a little longer. For a man in a wheelchair he had the appearance of a very fit man-muscular and firm.  
  
"She doesn't know-and Billy you can't tell her!" I said, a little anxious.  
  
Billy raised an eyebrow. "So what are you running away from?" He asked perceptively.  
  
I sighed. "Can I stay here for a bit please Billy? I don't know anyone else in New York and it won't be for long. As soon as I can get a job and an apartment I'll be out of your hair." I asked, changing the subject. As much as I liked Billy it was too early for me to talk about my pain.  
  
Billy pushed his hair out of his green eyes. "You can stay as long as you want Melody. I'll be glad for the company. And when you want to talk about it-I'm here."  
  
I nodded. "Thanks." I said simply.  
  
Billy turned his chair around and led me through the beaded curtains to the living quarters at the back of the shop. "You can have Holly's old room- it's much nicer than the spare one. You look tired. Why don't you have a rest before dinner?"  
  
"Thanks." I said again, and he nodded, and went back to the shop. I closed the bedroom door behind me and put my suitcase and bag beside the bed. The room was mostly empty, but on one of the shelves sat a dark black ball. I walked over to it and picked it up, and then smiled. It was one of the balls which you asked a question, shook and then it answered it. "Okay ball, have I done the wrong thing?" I asked it. "It is probable." The ball answered, and I frowned putting it back onto the shelf. I walked over to the bed and threw myself onto it. The early morning flight was draining in itself, but as if that weren't enough the pain of leaving Cary was just as bad. On the plane I glanced at my watch about the time Cary would be getting up and getting my note. I could imagine the pain in his eyes when he read it and the confusion in his heart! I couldn't help myself. I started to cry. I missed Cary more than anything, but I knew that there was no conceivable way I could have stayed in Provincetown after calling off the wedding. Had I stayed there seeing Cary's unhappiness might have tempted me to tell him that I hadn't called off the wedding because I didn't love him, but because of what his father had done in the past. And that was the main thing I wanted to avoid! Exhaustion got the better of me and soon I was fast asleep.  
  
*****  
  
A knock on my door woke me. I sat up rubbing at my eyes, and taking in the unfamiliar surroundings. It took me a moment to realise where I was, and then I remembered and called "Come in!"  
  
Billy opened the door and maneuvered his wheelchair into the room. "I didn't want to wake you but I thought you might be hungry. Besides if you sleep now you won't sleep later on tonight."  
  
"What time is it?" I asked.  
  
"Almost seven." Billy replied.  
  
"Seven?" I cried in shock. "I didn't mean to sleep that long. I was going to make dinner or something-"  
  
"-Relax. You obviously needed your sleep." Billy said philosophically. "Anyway I've cooked dinner. I remembered last time you were here how much you liked the chilled okra-yogurt soup and rice, carrot, mushroom and pecan burgers on seven-grain bread. And for desert I've made carob chocolate slice."  
  
I smiled, a little touched at the fact that he had remembered this. "You're right-I loved them! Let me just change and fix my hair and I'll be there." I said.  
  
A few minutes later we were seated at the kitchen table, tucking into our meals. Billy really was a great cook! When we were finished I sighed and leant back in my chair.  
  
"I wouldn't get anything like this at home...After all we had to support the fishing industry and all. And Cary..." Then I stopped. To speak of Cary like there was nothing different was too hard.  
  
Billy leant forward to me. "Melody, let me tell you something. Do you remember what I showed you that I wrote when you were here last time?" I nodded. "Well putting down my thoughts on paper helped me so much. It's therapeutic. And if you can't write well you can talk. I promise you it will make you feel better."  
  
I took a deep breath and then opened my mouth to tell him the whole terrible story. "When Mommy told me that I had to ask the judge why I couldn't marry Cary I was terrified. So terrified that I hurried to see the judge as soon as I could. I don't think he was going to tell me at first but then he told me. There is a possibility that my real father could be Uncle Jacob. Cary and I could be half brother and sister. It's only a slight possibility granted, but it's one nonetheless. How could I marry Cary knowing this? And even worse how could I tell him what his father had done? His father who always called Haille nothing but a harlot, and spoke so disparagingly of her had actually slept with her! His father with such his high moral values wasn't as holy as he liked to pretend. And Cary respects his father so much; it would have killed him to know. And not only him-but also Aunt Sara and May. And when the town got wind of it.." I shrugged. "My other alternative was to lie, but I can't lie to Cary. And that would have hurt him even more, and hurt me just as much. I had to get away. And that's why I'm here in New York."  
  
Billy was silent for a moment. "That's a terrible burden on you Melody. I know you won't like to hear this but maybe you should have told Cary-at least he would have known you did love him still."  
  
I shook my head firmly. "No. I refuse to be the one to put hate for his father into his heart!"  
  
Billy nodded understandingly. "Hate can eat us up. Maybe it is better this way. But it'll be harder for you." He told me.  
  
"I can cope." I said hoping I sounded a lot braver than I really felt.  
  
"I'm here to help you." Billy offered. "As long as you need me that is."  
  
"Thanks." I said for the third time that day. Billy was truly an amazing and giving person, someone very special. 


	14. Life in New York

[A/N. This chapter might be a little shorter than some of the others, but at the same time it covers a longer period of time than any other. Because of this I wanted to make it a little shorter. Hopefully this way the chapter, and indeed the story and proceeding chapters will flow better?]  
  
THIRTEEN:  
  
Rather than going out looking for a job Billy gave me one in the shop, something I was grateful for. After all what skills did I really have? I'd finished high school but I had never worked before! Holly rang Billy to see how he was going one afternoon and I saw him glance over at me as he said, "She did? I wonder where she went!" Holly said something and he nodded. "I guess it's possible but I doubt it." I tuned out and went back to serving the old woman who wanted something to help alleviate some of the pain of her arthritis.  
  
After she had gone and Billy was off the phone he told me how Cary had been devastated by the note I'd left him, and so had Aunt Sara and May. "He seems to think you've run off with another man." Billy told me.  
  
I felt sick. "He should know I would never do that!" I said unhappily.  
  
"Well you didn't write why you were leaving in the note did you?" Billy replied. "I told you that you should have told him why."  
  
"I couldn't!" I protested. "I just couldn't."  
  
Billy shrugged. "Well he'll get over it eventually."  
  
"I'm sure he will." I said softly. "But sometimes I wonder whether I'll get over it or not!"  
  
Billy changed the subject. "I think Holly suspects you could be here, or that you've been here at least."  
  
I was horrified. "I don't want anyone to know where I am!" I cried.  
  
"Relax. Even if she does know she won't tell anyone. That's Holly for you." Billy assured me.  
  
"I hope so." I said, my fingers crossed. Seeing anyone, whether it be Cary or Holly would be far too painful right then. I needed time to get over the pain of my loss.  
  
*****  
  
Time passed quickly. Whilst I wasn't completely over the pain of losing Cary I was getting better. Before I knew it I'd been living with Billy and working in the shop for almost a month. And it was about time for me to stop being a burden on Billy. I got the paper and sat in the kitchen looking for both jobs and apartments. Billy came in to see what I was doing, and a strange look crossed his face as he asked me.  
  
"I thought it was about time I stopped taking up your home and your life." I admitted. "I know you haven't said anything because you're too polite to say something like that, but I'm sure you've been wondering when I'll be moving on."  
  
Billy looked thoughtful. "And what are you going to do if you can't get a job? Are you going to spend that huge check your Grandfather gave you?" He asked.  
  
I shrugged. "I guess I might have to. I didn't want to, but if I have to I will."  
  
"If you HAVE to?" Billy repeated, and then he shook his head. "Listen Melody, as stupid as this might sound I like having you around here. You're fun, and you don't get in my way so I still have my personal space. And the best thing is you don't look at me like some crippled freak like so many other women do. I don't think you even see this wheelchair!"  
  
His speech shocked me and it took me a moment to recover my poise. "Billy, if women can't see beyond that chair then they're not good enough for you anyway!" I declared firmly.  
  
  
  
Billy laughed. "That's exactly what Holly says. She gets really fired up about it!"  
  
"As she should!" I replied.  
  
  
  
"So will you stay?" Billy asked.  
  
I nodded, and folded up the paper. "For now." I conceded.  
  
Billy smiled, and then the door chimes over the shop door chimed and he hurried away to serve the customer. As he rolled his wheelchair away I noticed how easy he made it look. His arms were so strong.  
  
*****  
  
One day I took the afternoon off and went out on my own to do a bit of sightseeing. I stood at the top of the Empire State Building looking down on the city. From so far up it made the huge city look like a kid's toy. I couldn't stay out there long though since it was growing colder each day. I could hardly believe that in only a few weeks it would be Christmas. It had now been exactly two months since I left Provincetown behind me and I'd noticed I could speak about Cary without getting all upset and wanting to cry. I hoped he was the same, that he'd found someone else to love and wasn't pining over me and what could be! The only day which had been really hard had been about a month ago when it would have been the day of our wedding.  
  
When I returned to the shop I walked into the kitchen to start dinner and was surprised to see Billy had already cooked it, and that the table was set with nice china and candles in the middle.  
  
"I see you've ruined my surprise." Billy said from behind me, and I laughed and turned round to see him.  
  
"Sorry," I said. "I thought I'd start with dinner, but it seems you've beaten me to it. What's with the table setting? Is it a special occasion?"  
  
Billy looked thoughtful. "I don't know." He said.  
  
I was about to ask how he could not know when something in his face stopped me, so instead I said that I'd go and put my things in my room and then be back. When I returned Billy insisted I sit down and he would serve the meal. "And how about some wine?" He asked. "This is one of the best ones I could find."  
  
I hadn't really drank since the incident with Adam Jackson and I hesitated, but then decided one glass couldn't really hurt me, and Billy poured me a glass. I took a bite of the tofu burgers he'd cooked and was impressed.  
  
"Billy," I said waving my fork around. "You are a genius when it comes to cooking. Who would ever have thought tofu could taste so great?"  
  
Billy actually blushed, and muttered something about having had a lot of practice. I poured myself another glass of wine, feeling completely relaxed and indeed at home.  
  
"I've been thinking," I said. "I've always wanted to go to college, but because of getting married and all I kind of gave up the dream. So I've been thinking I might apply to go to college here for the semester. I could pay for it with my grandfather's money, and I could work part time to support myself."  
  
"Are you talking about moving out again?" Billy asked.  
  
"Well I'm not sure. I don't think I could afford to live in one of the dorms, so I'd have to live off campus, which suits me fine anyway.." I said thoughtfully.  
  
"Why would you want to go find somewhere else to live when everything is fine here?" Billy asked.  
  
"I don't know." I said with a shrug. "I'm still thinking it all through Billy."  
  
Billy put down his knife and fork and wheeled himself around the table until he was next to me. "Listen Melody, I don't want you to leave. I love having you round here." He cleared his throat and took a deep breath. "Melody, I love YOU."  
  
I didn't know what to say. If I was going to be honest I'd felt myself grow so comfortable with Billy, and we got on so well too, but I wasn't sure whether or not that was love, or just friendship. And even if it was love was it too soon for me to let myself love someone else?  
  
"Melody?" Billy asked waiting.  
  
I told him what I was thinking and he nodded wisely. "You're right- if you don't know what it is then there is no point really. Just forget I said anything." And he turned his face away.  
  
"Billy!" I cried, reaching over for his hand. "Don't be like that! I didn't say I didn't care about you did I? I just have to work out my feelings. If you love me, like you claim, you'll be patient while I work it out."  
  
Billy turned back to me and nodded. "You're right of course. Sometimes I think you're wiser than me Melody." He said with a little smile. "I DO love you, and I am perfectly willing to wait while you work out what you want."  
  
"Thank you for being so understanding." I said. "Many people wouldn't."  
  
"I'm not 'many people' though." Billy said.  
  
I nodded. "I know." 


	15. Is this love?

[A/N. Thank you all for the reviews. I didn't expect to get so many, and I am both surprised and flattered. Especially to Alex who is always reading my story. Thanks! ( As for those of you who want Melody to take a different path than that she is currently taking, well you'll just have to wait and see what I've got in mind. After all, it IS a VC Andrews fanfic isn't it? And we all know what that means!]  
  
FOURTEEN:  
  
Billy poked at the fire until it was roaring and I settled comfortably in my favorite chair, rugged up in my dressing gown. I yawned, and then tried to hide it. Billy had been all excited about getting up early on Christmas morning and I'd gone along with it to keep him happy.  
  
"Right, there's the fire. Now- time to exchange presents." Billy declared, and he wheeled himself over to the tree. It had been delivered the other day, and we'd both decorated it with lots of colored tinsel and balls. Beneath it sat the present I'd bought for Billy, and there were also three other things under there. I'd noticed them when I'd come into the room this morning. Before this there had only been two under there- Billy's and mine. I wondered whether maybe his parents might be coming over or something, and now I asked him this?  
  
"You've got to be kidding." Billy said with a frown. "I'm sure they'll be going to my brother's house. He's a lawyer and has a nice big house, perfect for their tastes. They were pretty disgusted with me when I decided to work in the shop and live here. They call me a hippie!"  
  
"That's a shame. Still, you'd think on Christmas you'd want to make peace, wouldn't you?" I asked thoughtfully.  
  
"Who are you thinking about?" Billy asked, as he picked up the three presents and stacked them on his lap.  
  
"Mommy." I admitted. "I'd like to tell her I'm sorry. All I've ever wanted is a normal mother-daughter relationship. Surely this isn't too much to ask?" I knew I sounded like I was moaning, but it did kind of bug me.  
  
"Don't ask me." Billy said, coming over to me. "My mother and I hardly even speak either."  
  
I sighed, and decided that there was no point in complaining now. Especially when I considered that Billy's life could have been a lot worse than mine. And he had never once complained about his lot!  
  
"Merry Christmas Melody." He said, and he handed me the three presents.  
  
My face went red. "Billy, are these all for me?" I asked.  
  
"Sure are. Open them!" He replied.  
  
"I only got you the one. I didn't know you'd get-" I began, but he interrupted.  
  
"-Melody Logan, open your presents now!" He instructed.  
  
Laughing I opened the first one on the pile. It was a vegan cookbook (I'd told Billy a few times that I wanted to learn to cook how he did). I smiled and thanked him, and then turned to the second present. This one was bigger and I pretended to shake it, and try and guess what it was, when in reality I had no idea whatsoever. I opened it and gasped in shock. It was a complete set of CD's entitled "Country music at it's best". On the front I recognized some of my favorite artists. "Billy, we've got to listen to this- you should hear this guy play the fiddle. He was always my inspiration!" I cried, and Billy smiled to have given me a gift which meant so much to me. "Open the last one first." He demanded. So I did. This one was a lot smaller, and when I unwrapped the tissue paper I gasped again. It was a bracelet with "MELODY" written on it. On the back it simply said "LOVE". I hurried to put it on.  
  
"Well," Billy asked. "Did you like them?"  
  
"Like them?" I asked. "I LOVED them Billy. You're so sweet!"  
  
Then I jumped up and hurried to pick his present up from under the tree. I handed it to him and watched eagerly as he tore the wrapping off.  
  
"Wow Melody, how did you know?" He asked.  
  
"I remembered you saying you'd like to try it one day." I replied. I'd given him a sketchbook, some watercolors, some pastels and some pencils. One day he'd mentioned he'd like to give drawing a try, and that had given me the idea for his present.  
  
"Well it's wonderful, thank you so much." Billy said, and then he held out his arms. I went over to hug him, and then I kissed him on the cheek. I felt his arms tighten around me and I looked down into his eyes. Then slowly, gently, I kissed him on the lips. He kissed me back and in a moment our kisses had grown more passionate, and he had pulled me onto his lap.  
  
He drew away for a moment to say, "I love you Melody."  
  
I pulled away from him. "Billy, don't say that!" I begged.  
  
"Why not?" He asked. "I do love you."  
  
"I just...I wish you wouldn't say that. I know I care about you a lot Billy, but I don't know if I love you completely, and I don't want to hurt you." I said, trying to work out the right way to put it. Yes I cared about Billy, and maybe I even loved him, but for me the big question was simply this: Was I IN love with him? Was I in love with him like I was with Cary? Or did I just love him because of all he did for me.  
  
"If you let me love you that's all I ask. And maybe one day you could say to me 'I love you Billy' and mean it. That's all I want." Billy said.  
  
"If that's all..." I muttered, and then I kissed him again.  
  
We sat there, in his wheelchair kissing for awhile, and before I knew it his hands were undoing my blouse. But I didn't stop him. I loved the feeling and I didn't want to stop. Instead my own hands went to work, undoing his jeans.  
  
*****  
  
  
  
I sighed with as Billy wound a lock of my hair lazily round his fingers. We were both lying on the floor in front of the fire naked and Billy was looking as content as I'd ever seen him. I just wished I could have said the same thing for me. Instead of feeling content, I felt contempt. For me. What had I just let myself do? I hadn't even worked out whether or not I was in love with Billy and the whole time we were making love Cary was in the back of my mind. How could I do something like that and what if I hurt Billy?  
  
"I guess we should think about getting that Christmas dinner started?" Billy asked. "I bet you've never tasted a Christmas dinner without turkey?"  
  
I smiled. "No, I haven't." I admitted.  
  
Billy pulled himself back into his wheelchair, and began to dress himself. I did the same, putting my nightgown back on. The phone began to ring and Billy asked me to answer it. Without even thinking I picked the phone up and said "Hello?"  
  
There was silence on the other end.  
  
"Hello?" I asked confused. "Is anyone there?"  
  
"Melody! I knew you were there!" Holly said accusingly.  
  
I felt my heart skip a beat. "Hello Holly, merry Christmas." I said.  
  
"Interestingly enough it's not so merry here in Provincetown, or don't you care about that anymore?" Holly asked me.  
  
"I care!" I protested. "Is there something wrong? It's not Cary is it? Cary's okay isn't he?"  
  
Holly was silent a second before responding. "Cary's heartbroken, but he's alright physically. He never did buy the boat business. The moneys still sitting in his bank where you left it untouched. Instead he's doing odd jobs for people around town. Roy offered to let him come back to the business but Cary refused because he'd given it to him and he wasn't going to go back on his word. Always keeps his promises does Cary."  
  
I felt like I'd been slapped. But I pretended not to know what she was referring to. Instead I asked after Aunt Sara and May.  
  
"They're missing you of course, but they're all right. May's grown up a lot these last few months. Sara seems to be over thinking Laura and Jacob are alive. I think it could be because she's had to be there for Cary perhaps." Holly explained.  
  
"And how about you and Kenneth?" I asked. "How are you two getting along?"  
  
"Well let's just say it'll be three soon." Holly said, a note of pride coming into her voice. Even though she wasn't happy with me she couldn't hide her joy.  
  
"WOW! You mean your having a baby?" I cried. "So I'm going to have a half cousin? That's fantastic!"  
  
Billy who had been in the kitchen poked his head back in. "Holly?" He asked me, and I nodded.  
  
"Listen Holly, Billy wants to speak to you now-" I began, but Holly interrupted me.  
  
"First can you tell me why you left so suddenly? Was it just a case of pre- marriage jitters?" She asked.  
  
I hesitated. "Holly, I don't want to..no I can't speak about it yet, but one day I'll tell you. Please don't tell anyone where I am though."  
  
Holly sighed. "Fine." She said. "Put Billy on."  
  
I did, and then I went and dressed. Holly was really mad at me, but I didn't want to tell her why I'd left so suddenly in case she told someone else.  
  
When I'd dressed Billy was off the phone. "Holly's very perceptive." He told me. "She guessed there was something going on between us."  
  
"She did?" I repeated in shock. After all I hadn't even worked out what was going on between us.  
  
"Mmm." Billy replied. "Well come on lazybones- I need some help with dinner."  
  
*****  
  
Later that night, as I lay in Billy's arms asleep after we'd made love again I began to think, and I knew for sure that I wasn't in love with Billy. Maybe I'd wanted to let myself love him in order to help me get over Cary, but it wasn't right. I couldn't do this to him, nor to me. I decided that the next morning I was going to book a flight to LA to see my mother. There were some things I felt I needed to know. 


	16. Journey for the soul

FIFTEEN:  
  
I'd made up my mind during the night about getting myself on the first available seat to LA to see my mother, but telling Billy this was a little harder than I expected. When he woke he reached for me to hug him, and I let him hug me, but I must have held myself a little stiff or something because he pulled back to look at me.  
  
"What's wrong?" He asked.  
  
"Nothing." I said, looking away and wondering how to tell him.  
  
"Melody it would be a lot easier if you just told me the truth. Are you having regrets about what we did yesterday? Because I'm not." Billy said.  
  
I sighed, and sat up in the bed, pulling the cover up to cover my nakedness. "It's like this. Today I'm flying to LA to see Mommy. I can't move on with my life if I can't get the past straight." I explained.  
  
Billy looked confused for a moment and then suddenly sad. "Cary?" He asked simply.  
  
"I'm sorry Billy, I've tried, really, really tried to get Cary out of my mind. But I keep thinking Mommy must know the truth. If Jacob is my father, well then I've got no choice but to get Cary out of my mind once and for all." I said.  
  
"And if Jacob isn't?" Billy asked, though surely he knew the answer.  
  
"I'm sorry Billy!" I said feeling terrible. "Please believe me when I said I didn't want to hurt you!"  
  
"I do believe you." Billy said, with a sigh. "I know you wouldn't do that on purpose."  
  
"It was just last night I was thinking about Cary after we did what we did, and I realised I had to make sure of everything one hundred percent. Otherwise there is no way I can go on with my life, and give my heart to someone else." I explained.  
  
"You're talking about me?" Billy asked.  
  
"I guess." I said. "But this is something I should have done before I came here. I shouldn't have let my grandfather tell me, Mommy should have told me everything. And let me assure you Billy- this time she sure as hell will!"  
  
"You look so determined." Billy said with a little smile.  
  
"I AM determined." I insisted. "It's not fair that people can keep playing with my life and emotions. I deserve to know the truth so I can live a full, a proper, life!"  
  
"You're right of course. Go to LA. Make her tell you." Billy said, and then he pulled himself up. "I'm going to make breakfast- if you're going to be flying over there today you'll need something in your stomach."  
  
I smiled slightly, and watched as he pulled himself into his chair and dressed himself. When he'd left the room I put my head back onto the pillow and let a few tears escape. Billy had taken the whole thing so well, when I'd virtually told him that it was Cary I still loved, Cary who I couldn't get out of my mind. He knew if my mother told me that Jacob was likely to not be my father then I'd be back in Provincetown with Cary, and he didn't say a word to stop me. Surely it hurt him, but he didn't say it. How could one man be so good to me? I got dressed and followed him into the kitchen.  
  
"So," he said breaking the silence we were eating in. "How are you going to make your mother tell you?"  
  
"There's one thing Mommy has never been able to resist." I said with a grin. "Money."  
  
Billy looked shocked. "Are you telling me you're going to bribe your own mother?" He asked.  
  
"I wouldn't exactly call it a bribe..more of a persuasion." I said, getting up. "Excuse me for a moment, there's someone I've got to call first."  
  
"Cary?" Billy asked looking thoughtful.  
  
"Nope, Mr. Teddy Jackson." I said with another grin.  
  
After my phone call to Mr. Jackson I rang the airlines to see whether I could get a spot on a flight to LA. "You're in luck Miss Logan," The lady told me. "We've got a spot on the 2:45 to LA today. Want me to book it for you?" I hesitated a moment, before replying in the positive.  
  
*****  
  
Saying goodbye to Billy as harder than I had expected. Even though I knew I was in love with Cary rather than him, I did care about him a lot. If things were different I was well aware I would have fallen in love with him. I think he probably knew that too.  
  
"Are you going to come back?" He asked me.  
  
I shrugged. "I don't know Billy. If Jacob's not my father I won't be back. If he is...I just don't know. And Billy it probably wouldn't be fair on you to put you through this, and then just come waltzing back and saying 'I'm back, love me' sort of thing, would it?"  
  
"Look Melody, I love you right. And I understand this is something you need to do- it's only natural. Otherwise I'd always have been second best. Maybe I still will be. But let me tell you now, if you come back, things won't change." Billy said.  
  
I felt tears prick my eyes, but held them back. "Billy Maxwell you are the most amazing man I've ever met. And if I have hurt you, I am so sorry for it." I said.  
  
"Actually Melody, rather than hurt me you've done me a favor." Billy said strangely.  
  
I felt sick. Did he mean I was doing him a favor by still being in love with Cary?  
  
"You're the first woman who I've made love to since the accident. I guess you've proved to me I can still do it, I can still have a normal life in that department." Billy said, not looking me in the eye. "Thanks."  
  
"I don't know what to say." I muttered, and then the cabbie sounded his horn out the front and I had to hug Billy and leave.  
  
"Will you call me?" Billy asked.  
  
"As soon as I know the truth yes." I promised. It wouldn't be right to leave him hanging, especially if the answer meant that I wouldn't be back. After all, maybe then he could find someone else to love. And as I was sitting in the taxi on the way to the airport a terrible thought occurred to me- what if Cary had found someone else to love? I told myself I'd deal with that if it came to it. But Holly had said he was heartbroken- that didn't sound as if he was in love again, did it? And it was going to be hard enough to explain to him why I'd done what I'd done. But surely, surely, he'd understand! He HAD to!  
  
*****  
  
I didn't tell my mother I was coming; instead I just turned up at the last address I'd been given for her. It was a fairly small apartment complex, but it was nicer than the one she'd been in before- maybe she was finally beginning to get somewhere? When I rang the doorbell it was awhile before it was answered, and then none other than Archie Marlin answered it.  
  
He looked at me in disgust. "What are you doing here?" He demanded.  
  
I swallowed my own dislike of him, and managed a smile. "I've a proposition actually...a monetary proposition."  
  
"What money? You don't have no money- you don't get it till your 25!" Archie said.  
  
"That's not technically true." I admitted. "I've got the money from the sale of Grandma Olivia and Grandpa Samuel's estate in the bank. It will hopefully go to buying a house and Cary's business soon. But I've also got some more money which my real Grandfather gave me. It was for me to go to college, but I decided not to go, and therefore I've still got it."  
  
Archie looked like he was struggling with something, and then he opened the door further and let me in. "Gina's just gone down to the shops for some gin- we were all out. And we're celebrating the fact that she got another part in a major movie- this time with more lines. She's on her way your mother." He said proudly. I looked round the house. The walls were freshly painted, and the carpet was fairly new, so my mother and Archie's stuff looked out of place in there.  
  
Archie saw my look. "This complex was only built a few years back. Once Gina's a star we could probably afford something even bigger, but it'll do for now." He said.  
  
"Sure, it's nice." I replied, and then I sat on the couch and waited for my mother to return.  
  
It was only about ten minutes later when the door opened and my mother walked in holding up the bottle of gin. "Let the celebration begin!" She cried, and then she spotted me sitting on her couch. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"Don't look so happy to see me Mommy." I said, disguising my hurt well.  
  
"Well Melody you all but told me to get out of your life when I left Provincetown!" My mother said. "And not even sparing your poor struggling mother a cent."  
  
"It doesn't look like you're struggling as much as I had thought." I said.  
  
"Well we're not- now! Before we were." My mother replied. "So if there's no real reason for you to be here I would appreciate it if you just left."  
  
"Gina, I think perhaps you should hear her out." Archie said. Even though I'd refused to discuss my proposition to him before my mother returned home he at least knew it involved money.  
  
My mother exchanged looks with Archie, and then when she spoke her voice was gentler, like it used to be. "What is it Melody?" she asked.  
  
I took a deep breath and hoped this would work- after all my future life was at stake wasn't it? My future happiness and love? 


	17. The truth at last!

[A/N. I'm already thinking about two more stories continuing on from this one, but I am not sure whether or not this is a good idea!]  
  
SIXTEEN:  
  
"When I told you I had no money that wasn't technically true. I've got the profits from the sale of the Logan estate in the bank. I've also got money my real grandfather, the judge, gave me for college." I admitted.  
  
My mother raised an eyebrow. "So why are you telling us this now? Have you come here to gloat about how rich you are?" She asked.  
  
"No!" I protested. "I wouldn't do that Mommy, and I'm surprised you'd even think I would."  
  
"Touchy." Archie muttered and I shot him a dark look. He shrugged and got up to get a drink. "G&T Gina?"  
  
"Yes, thanks Archie." My mother replied, and she leant back on the couch with a sigh. "Well Melody- get on with it. We don't have all night."  
  
I frowned, shocked that she would be so openly rude. "Well it's like this Mommy. When I found out that Uncle Jacob could be my father I left Provincetown in a hurry. I didn't even explain to Cary why. Instead I just ran away in the middle of the night like a coward. But in all this time I've never been able to get Cary out of my mind completely. I love him."  
  
"Spare us the soap opera drama." Archie said coming back in and handing my mother her drink. "What's this got to do with the dosh?"  
  
"Archie's right Melody. We were planning on going to a bar near here to celebrate with some of our friends. You know I'd take you along- I think some people you met in my old apartment block would be there and they'd remember you as my little sister- but it's going to be a pretty good party, not the sort you'd be used to." My mother explained.  
  
"Okay," I said coldly. "This is my proposition: Mommy, I need to know who my father is for sure. If you can tell me the truth I'll give you some money."  
  
Archie and my mother exchanged looks, and I saw Archie's smirk.  
  
"That's it?" My mother asked incredulously. "That's all and we get the money?"  
  
"That's all. But there is one little catch." I said, and I saw my mother sigh.  
  
"A catch. There's always a catch with you isn't there Melody?" She asked.  
  
"How much is the money?" Archie interrupted. "If it isn't enough, if it's not worth it I'll advise Gina not to say a word."  
  
I glared at him. "Enough money to pay your rent comfortably here for the next year. Is that enough for me to get the truth, MISTER Marlin?"  
  
"You always were a smart mouthed little bitch. Let me tell you now if you were my child I'd have given you a spanking to remember a long time ago." Archie snarled at me.  
  
"If I were your child I would have ran away a long time ago." I replied.  
  
"What's the catch then Melody?" My mother interrupted our arguing.  
  
"The catch is this: I'm going to have a contract drawn up, and should you lie to me about this you won't get a cent." I said.  
  
Archie snorted. "Why would she lie to you? Your own mother lie to you?" He asked frowning. "You should show some respect-"  
  
"-with all due respect, Mr. Marlin," I said angrily. "My mother has proven herself on countless occasions to be a liar. As if faking her death to get away from her parental obligations weren't enough, she also lied to me in order to get money off me!"  
  
Archie muttered something under his breath I couldn't quite catch and got up and walked down the hall to where I presumed their bedroom was.  
  
"Melody, I never meant to hurt you. We've spoken about this before and I thought you understood that I-"  
  
"-Mommy I don't want to talk about that again." I said with a sigh. "All I want is to know the truth so I can get on with my life. Oh, and Mommy, Teddy Jackson has consented to take a blood test to determine whether or not he is my father, so don't bother lying." I hadn't been planning on telling her this, but I felt as though it would be wrong to trick my own mother, no matter how shabbily she may have treated me in the past.  
  
"I lied about Jacob. I lied about him because I didn't want anyone going round to the Jackson's place and making a scene. I thought if there was the chance that someone else was your father they'd be more likely to keep quiet." My mother said, her head bowed. "You've heard, of course, how your father and Uncle Jacob had a fight on the beach before Chester and I left for Sewell? Well it was partly because I blamed Samuel for the baby, and partly because I told Chester that there was also a chance that Jacob could be the father. Chester was furious! But I had to tell him that, just to make sure he didn't get back into contact with the family."  
  
I couldn't believe it. "So why on earth did you tell me this? There's no reason for me not to marry Cary and you've led me to believe there was. You are the one responsible for all our pain and suffering!" I cried.  
  
"Oh come on, think about it Melody. You could be a star. An actress, a music star- you could be anything other than a smelly fisherman's housewife!" My mother said rolling her eyes. "I did it for your own good."  
  
"My own good?" I yelled. "You're sitting here and telling me it was for my own good? Let me tell you what I think Mommy. I think you thought if I didn't marry Cary I might change my mind and come back to you and you and that moronic boyfriend of yours could get your grubby hands on my money. And furthermore you thought how nice it would be to sever my ties with Provincetown, with the Logan family, who all know so well what you're really like!"  
  
"That's not true Melody." My mother said. "I know you don't want to believe me-"  
  
"-Why should I?" I yelled. "Give me one reason why I should believe anything you say!"  
  
Archie came back into the room. "Stop this racket!" He snapped at me. "Don't upset Gina now when she's got a party to go to. She'll be the star there, and if she is upset it might harm her chances of getting more work."  
  
"Stuff her work." I snapped back at him. "And stuff you too. You know something? You're not half the man my stepfather Chester was! Not even a third the man he was!" I was on a roll now, and I was angry and hysterical. To think my own mother could have done something so selfish which might have ruined my happiness forever.  
  
Archie's lip curled as he stepped towards me. "Maybe I should show you what sort of a man I am kiddo." He said with a grin.  
  
"Archie don't!" My mother said, and Archie stopped dead in his tracks in shock.  
  
"What?" He asked.  
  
"Just go and get ready, I'll get changed in a moment." My mother said, and Archie left the room.  
  
"Isn't that nice?" I asked her. "You saved me from him this time, when last time you didn't even believe me about him!"  
  
"We are going to the party. You're welcome to stay here the night since I assume you'll be flying back in the morning?" My mother asked, not responding to my comment.  
  
"Yes, I'll be flying back to Provincetown first thing in the morning to see whether or not I can repair the damage to my relationship you've caused me." I replied coldly. "However I think I'll spend the night in the hotel."  
  
"Money to burn hey?" Archie asked, coming back out, changed. In his fairly nice suit he looked weedier to me than ever. And the way he strutted- he actually strutted- made me stifle a laugh. It was just plain embarrassing!  
  
"Thank you for telling me the truth Haille Logan." I said. "In future I no longer wish to have any contact with you. As far as I am concerned I have no mother."  
  
I turned on my heel to walk out of the apartment, but my mother grabbed me by the arm. "Wait!" She said.  
  
Despite my words I thought maybe, just maybe, she was going to say something that would make it all better. Make me love her again! I know that sounds silly, but every girl or woman wants their mother to love them!  
  
  
  
"What about the money? We get the money right since I've told you the truth now?" My mother asked.  
  
I couldn't speak for a moment I was so shocked. All she cared about was the money. "Yes you will get the money. Unlike you I keep my promises. But let me tell you something- I now believe that every word they said about you back in Provincetown was true. You're nothing but a low down, lying, whore."  
  
My mother's face went pale and before I knew it she'd slapped me across the face so hard my neck jerked back with the impact.  
  
"How dare you?" She cried. "I gave birth to you. My own flesh and blood!"  
  
"Giving birth to someone doesn't make you a real parent." I told her, remaining calm despite the terrible stinging pain on my cheek. "Goodbye Mr. Marlin, Miss Simon. I hope everything goes well for you. I'll make sure the money is deposited in your bank account as soon as I can."  
  
And I left. But once I was outside I let myself cry. I meant every word I said: as far as I was concerned now I had no mother. The fact that she only cared about money, and had been so incredibly selfish when it came to my happiness hurt me more than anything had ever hurt! All I wanted to do was to get back to Provincetown and hope it wasn't too late to mend bridges. 


	18. Back to Provincetown

SEVENTEEN:  
  
"Billy? It's me. I don't have long as I am just about to catch a plane." I said, cradling the phone between my shoulder and ear. I'd been lucky to get a seat on the flights I needed since it was the Christmas season and people were flying everywhere to see relatives.  
  
"How was your mother?" Billy asked.  
  
"The same as usual. It's funny you know. When I was younger she used to annoy me and there were certain things she'd do that would strike me as selfish, I just never realised how selfish she really was." I said with a sigh. And then I related the entire visit. Billy didn't interrupt, he was just silent and listening. I ended up with "So now I'm waiting on a flight back to the Cape."  
  
"I hope everything goes all right for you. If Cary loves you as much as you love him I'm sure it will be fine." Billy said.  
  
His supportive words caused a lump to form in my throat, and a few tears to slide down my cheeks. How could he be so nice? I'd treated him so shabbily, and all he did was support me. I couldn't speak.  
  
"Melody? Melody? Are you still there?" Billy asked.  
  
"Yes." I managed. "I am so sorry Billy."  
  
"Melody don't be sorry. Being sorry means you have regrets and I don't have any regrets. You've given me the best gift I could ever have wanted: you've shown me how to love again." Billy said.  
  
Of course this just made me cry harder, and then my flight was announced and I had to go. "That's my flight. I've got to go." I said. "Thanks Billy. For everything."  
  
"That's all right. Bye Melody." Billy said.  
  
"Goodbye." I echoed, and then I hung up, and went over to board my flight.  
  
The stewardess who was taking tickets looked at my tearstained face and smiled sympathetically. "Christmas can be hard, can't it?" She asked.  
  
"Life can be hard." I replied.  
  
"Hmm." She said. "Well enjoy your flight."  
  
My flight was spent with images of Cary being delighted to see me and hugging me and everything being all right, and images of him telling me to get lost. I knew I couldn't just go back to Aunt Sara's and expect them to put me up, so I decided I'd stay at Holly and Kenneth's place. They wouldn't mind I was sure.  
  
*****  
  
Holly must have heard the taxi come up the driveway, since she came out of the house to see what was going on. Or maybe she heard his complaints about the road and driveway? When she saw me get out of the taxi she beamed and came over to hug me. My eyes kept straying to her stomach.  
  
She noticed and laughed. "I've still got another five months to go and I'm already huge." She said. "Kenneth thinks I'm having twins."  
  
I didn't know what to say, but it made me realise that by running off instead of confronting the truth I'd missed a lot. "Where's Kenneth?" I asked, suddenly realising he wasn't there.  
  
"He's gone away for a few days. He sold some artwork to a collector in LA and he's gone there to discuss a further business deal with him."  
  
I nodded. "That's great."  
  
"I knew you'd be back." Holly told me as we walked back towards the house, with the dogs cavorting round us excitedly. "The stars told me. You and Cary belong together."  
  
"I wish I'd known that earlier." I replied with a sigh.  
  
"What made you leave?" Holly asked as we went into the living room and sat down.  
  
I told her why I'd left, why I couldn't tell Cary and why I was now back and her eyes widened. "I can't believe your own mother would do something like that."  
  
"She's my mother in name only now." I replied. "I'm going to transfer the money to her account and that's it. I never want another thing to do with her."  
  
"I can't say I blame you." Holly said, trying to make herself comfortable on the chair. "And they say blood is thicker than water."  
  
"Holly," I said deciding it was time to get to the point. "How is Cary?"  
  
What was that strange look in Holly's face? But it disappeared so quickly I couldn't even be sure I'd seen anything. "He got a loan from the bank to buy that house you were going to buy, and he's started his business." She said.  
  
"He has?" I asked surprised. "But I transferred money from the sale of our grandparents estate into his account for that. The bank was going to call him- they must not have done it! I was quite happy to just have the money from my grandfather and leave the rest for him!"  
  
"They did." Holly replied. "He came round here to see me a few times after you first left. He just didn't want the money."  
  
"Oh." I said not sure what to say.  
  
"Look Melody, I won't tell you this is going to be easy, but I will tell you one thing: despite what Cary might think, say and even do he loves you more than anything." Holly said. "Go to him. Tell him what you told me."  
  
"Now?" I asked in shock. Despite my eagerness to have Cary's arms around me again I was nervous. I was also tired. It was hard to imagine that it was only two days after Christmas and that so much had happened in so little time!  
  
"There's no time like the present." Holly replied. "Take my car."  
  
"Okay." I said softly.  
  
*****  
  
I don't know how I managed to drive to the house, I was so nervous I was shaking. But I arrived there and got out. There were noises coming from the shed, so I assumed that was where Cary was. I took a deep breath, and walked down the short hill towards it. I walked through the large doors which were flung open and then my breath caught in my throat. Cary was hard at work, his face a picture of intense concentration, his shirt flung off showing off his chest. Maybe he heard me, maybe he sensed me, but he looked up then. His eyes widened in shock and I smiled tentatively. But when he didn't smile back my smile faded.  
  
"What are you doing here?" He asked, putting his tools down and coming over to me.  
  
"I just got back. Holly told me you were here. She said you'd taken out a loan and got the place after all. I don't know why you didn't use the money I left." I said.  
  
"I didn't want your damn money." He snapped. "Look Melody, I'm really busy, I don't have time for this at the moment."  
  
Holly's words echoed in my head: she'd basically said that despite how he might act I shouldn't give up. "Cary, we really need to talk." I said pleading.  
  
"What's the point Melody?" Cary asked with a sigh. "Why are you even here? Why did you even come back?"  
  
"I came back because of you. I love you Cary, and-" I began but he interrupted me.  
  
"-You love me so much that you just disappear one night leaving a note telling me nothing?" Cary snapped. "I don't know about you Melody, but in my eyes that's not love!"  
  
I winced. "I deserved that I know." I said. "But Cary you've got to listen- you've got to know the truth."  
  
"Can you even tell the truth Melody?" Cary asked. "If you ask me I think you're a lot more like your mother than you care to admit. She was a coward and a liar too."  
  
That angered me. "Cary Logan!" I yelled. "I am nothing like that woman and I never, EVER, will be."  
  
Cary looked surprised at my vehement objection. In fact he even looked interested, but before he could speak and before I could speak, there was a sound at the open doors, and we both turned around. Theresa Patterson was standing there, a picnic basket in her hands.  
  
"Melody!" She said surprised. "I didn't know you were coming back."  
  
"I didn't either." I said, glancing over at Cary's face. To my surprise he'd gone red. I glanced back over at Theresa and it all clicked: Cary and Theresa.  
  
"Oh." Theresa said, and then she came over with the basket. "I brought your lunch down Cary. I know that you sometimes get so involved in your work you forget to eat. Oh, and Melody can join us can't she sweetie?"  
  
Cary had gone even redder if that was at all possible. "Uh.sure.." He muttered.  
  
"I'm not hungry." I said, taking a deep breath. "I better get back. Holly needs the car to do some shopping."  
  
If Cary or Theresa saw through my weak excuse they didn't say so. Instead Theresa nodded. "Tell her I said hi." She said.  
  
"Right. Bye Theresa. Bye Cary." I said, and I hurried from the shed.  
  
It wasn't until I was in the car driving away that I let my tears flow. I was too late. Cary didn't care about me anymore.  
  
Holly looked up when I entered the house and shook her head. "It didn't go well did it?" She asked.  
  
"How come you didn't tell me about Cary and Theresa?" I demanded.  
  
"I thought you should find out for yourself." Holly admitted. "But he doesn't love her Melody. He's just trying to forget about you."  
  
"Yeah right," I snapped. "Coming back here was such a mistake. I'll leave."  
  
"And where are you going to go?" Holly asked. "Back to Billy?"  
  
"No." I said knowing that there was no way I could do that. I wondered, briefly, whether or not Holly knew what had happened between us. "I think I might go back to Sewell, back to the place I know."  
  
Holly sighed. "Melody, I wont deny I was angry at you for leaving, but now I know the truth I can understand how confused and upset you must have felt. All I want is for you to be happy. Will you really be happy in Sewell?" She asked.  
  
I sighed. If I was being honest I wouldn't be happy anywhere anymore. My entire life was ruined!  
  
"Look, just stay a few days." Holly asked me. "At least go and say hello to your Aunt and cousin."  
  
"Fine." I said, flopping onto the couch. "I'll stay four days, but then I'm leaving." 


	19. Confessions

EIGHTEEN:  
  
I was sitting in the living room trying to work up the nerve to go and visit Aunt Sara and May. The only thing stopping me was that I didn't know what I would tell them as an explanation for my disappearance. Holly had taken the dogs for a walk along the beach and she'd invited me to come along but I just hadn't felt like it. I heard a car come up the driveway and it sounded familiar. 'Kenneth must be back already' I thought excitedly, getting up and going out the front. Then I stopped dead. Cary was getting out of his truck. His eyes locked with mine.  
  
"Melody, I don't suppose we could have that talk you mentioned yesterday?" He asked me.  
  
I took a deep breath, and determined to remain calm and in control. "Come inside." I said.  
  
Once we were both seated in the lounge room Cary sighed as he looked around. "I came here often after you left. I guess it was like a tie with you. Where did you go anyway?"  
  
"New York for a bit, and then LA." I replied.  
  
"To see your mother?" Cary asked and I nodded. "Tell me Melody, yesterday when I said you were like your mother you sounded really angry. Why?"  
  
I sighed, and pushed my hair away from my forehead. "Are you ready to hear it all? Why I left?" I asked instead of answering.  
  
Cary looked like he wished he didn't have to, but he nodded.  
  
"When my mother was leaving she told me something; she said I couldn't marry you. When I demanded to know why she told me to ask the judge. I made that excuse about having to see him about wedding stuff because I didn't know what I was going to hear, and I had to hear it alone. What he told me was this: when my mother found out she was pregnant she actually went to him first. Despite her claims to hate the man after the way he told her he was her father she went to him. She knew Grandma Olivia and Grandpa Samuel were going to be disappointed and angry with her, so she wanted his support. What she told him was that even though she thought that Teddy Jackson was the father of her child, she thought it could also be Jacob." I paused and saw Cary frown, but before he could speak I hurried on. "The judge told me that it was unlikely of course and that he thought we should still get married, but the thought that you could be my half-brother shocked me to the core. I couldn't tell you this Cary- I didn't want to be the one to give you a reason to hate your father! So I left. Rather than stay and tell the truth and hurt you. Rather than stay and lie and hurt you. I know I hurt you doing what I did, but I couldn't stay here knowing we couldn't be married."  
  
Cary shook his head. "My own Father? I can't believe him. No wonder he hated your mother so much. She didn't pick him!"  
  
"There's more to the story. I tried to get you out of my mind but I couldn't. So Christmas Day I went to LA determined to find out the truth. I bribed my mother, something I am not proud of. I told her that if she told me the truth about who my father was I would give her money. At first I wasn't going to tell her that I'd also called Teddy Jackson and asked him whether he'd consent to a paternity test. I told her that if she lied she wouldn't get the money, but then in a moment of weakness I told her about what Teddy Jackson had also consented to. So she told me the truth: She never slept with your father. She just didn't want her parents, or her brothers, to try and get money out of Teddy, or blame him for anything. Teddy Jackson is my real father, and we are not related." I finished.  
  
Cary was in shock. "I don't understand. Why would your mother do all this to us?"  
  
"I don't know to be honest. But we had a big argument when she told me this and I told her I never wanted to see her again. As far as I am concerned I have no mother. So then I came here hoping it wouldn't be too late. But I guess it is." I sighed.  
  
Cary looked confused. "Why do you say that?" He asked.  
  
"You and Theresa." I replied.  
  
His face went red. "Oh. That." He said.  
  
"Yes, that. But I know I can't blame you for that Cary. I should have stayed and faced the truth and you. But I was too scared. And I also knew that I couldn't be around you knowing we couldn't be together." I explained.  
  
"Look Melody about me and Theresa, l want to explain." Cary said.  
  
"You don't have to." I assured him. "I hate the thought of you with someone else Cary, but I don't want you to be unhappy either."  
  
"Theresa gave me an excuse to forget about you. I told myself I hated you and that I never wanted to see you again after how much you hurt me. When Theresa started hanging around me all the time I had no idea what would happen, but when it did I thought well why not? It might help me get over you. I thought that had happened but when I saw you yesterday my heart told me differently. I can't help myself Melody, I love you. And now I know you didn't leave because you didn't want to marry me, but because you thought you couldn't, I love you even more." Cary said, and now he looked up and at me.  
  
"You do?" I managed to say.  
  
He laughed and got up to come over to me. Taking my hand he pulled me to my feet. "I do." He repeated. "I wonder Melody, would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"  
  
I laughed. "The honor is all mine Cary Logan." I told him.  
  
"We should probably go and see Ma and May." Cary said. "They'll be so glad to see you back."  
  
There was a noise outside, and then Holly came into the house. She looked exhausted from her walk, but at seeing us standing there holding hands, she looked happy. "So the stars were right." She said with a smile. "I thought they would be. They've never proved me wrong yet!" 


	20. Epilogue

EPILOGUE:  
  
Cary and I were married three weeks later. The ceremony was just as I had always imagined my wedding as a little girl. I felt like a princess as I walked up the flower-strewn aisle to Cary who was waiting up at the top with a huge smile on his face. As the judge, my grandfather, handed me over to Cary his face was the picture of contentment. May looked gorgeous in her bridesmaid's dress, as did Holly, even with her pregnant stomach. Aunt Sara was so proud. Later on, at the reception she told me "I just wish Jacob were here to see this. He would have loved it." I raised an eyebrow. Somehow I doubted that Uncle Jacob would have loved it, but I didn't want to spoil Aunt Sara's mood.  
  
As we did the bridal waltz Cary said "This reminds me of the engagement party where we danced. I've been practicing a bit since then- I've only stepped on your toes twice."  
  
"Three times." I corrected him with a laugh. "Cary I am so happy. For awhile there I thought this wasn't going to happen."  
  
"You're telling me." Cary said. "But let's not think of the past anymore. Let's think only of the present and the future."  
  
For our honeymoon we went to Hawaii and spent a few lazy days on the beach and in bed. Only once since I'd returned to Provincetown had I allowed Cary and I to make love, and that had been the night he'd come to Holly's to tell me he loved me. It wasn't long after we returned that I began to feel sick. I thought at first it was just all the excitement of beginning married life, but when I missed my period I decided I had better go to the doctors after all. He confirmed my suspicions. "Mrs. Logan I am delighted to tell you you're pregnant." My due date was traced back to around Christmas time, give or take a few days.  
  
As I drove home a terrible thought occurred to me: What if this wasn't Cary's baby? What if it was Billy's? I put the thought out of my mind; convinced it was Cary's. And when I told him the news I had never seen anyone so happy in my life. That alone made me decide that no matter whose child it was Cary was going to be the Dad. 


	21. A final note from the author!

A/N.  
  
Well that's it for the story, and I hope you enjoyed it. In true VC Andrews style I hope there were a few twists and turns. I think the fact that VC Andrews books always have them are what really endured me to the books in the first place, and is also what makes me devour them like I do!  
  
I should briefly make a mention of the fact that I changed the title. At first I liked the title since it tied it into the "Melody" series, however I have decide that "ballad" being another word for song, also ties it in.  
  
I want to thank everyone who read this story and reviewed it. As any writer knows reviews, and the fact that people actually like what they are reading, is what keeps you writing.  
  
And lastly, don't think this is it for Melody and Cary. I have grand plans for them in the sequel to this story called "The Lark's Lullaby."  
  
Cheers,  
  
Aims. 


End file.
